Tag Archives: www.talktherapies.co.uk

What are the chances?

chances hypnotherapy

Have you ever done the lottery?

Have you ever imagined what you would do with all the money if you won?

We’re you utterly devastated when your numbers didn’t come up?

Did you know that the odds of getting all 6 numbers in the lottery (without the bonus ball) are almost 14 million to one? Did you also know that in the UK there are about 124,000 heart attacks each year. That means that you are a lot more likely to have a heart attack on your way to buy your ticket, than you are of actually winning? Does that stop people? NO! and nor should it, though you might want to think about a low fat diet and a bit of exercise!

The thing is, we don’t always think logically.

We don’t weigh up the odds and take the most sensible course of action, particularly when our emotions get involved. Worry, Phobias, Fear and Anxiety are the negative sides to this. CBT  or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a therapy used to help people with these issues. One of the things it tries to teach people is how to look at the risk factors – the chances of things happening. For example, is someone has a fear of flying they may believe that if they go up in an aeroplane, that there is a high risk of them dying. In reality that risk is incredibly small. If they start to look at the numbers they will soon realise that there is much more danger to them getting to and from the airport, than they will ever face when the plane is in the air. This can be really hard for people to accept though, because they focus on their fears.

Do you ever play slot machines? If you play occasionally there is a chance (though small) that you may come away with more money than you put in. If you play regularly or consistently (particularly on the same machine) then the chances of you ‘winning’ reduce with every game you play. The machines are created to make money, therefore the odds are built in that it will take more than it gives out. Do you think this stops people from playing? Take a look around any large casino and you will quickly see that the answer is No, because people focus on the wins.

Sometimes if someone has been hurt in a relationship they will avoid getting into similar relationships as they believe the same thing will happen again. Their focus is on the Pain.

If you have a fear or anxiety about something happening it’s worth trying to think about it logically, and if you can’t do that then speak to someone who can put it into a different perspective for you. Therapists are useful for this as they have no personal agenda, but friends and family can be great too. Listen to what they have to say, weigh up the odds, focus on the positive and ask yourself…

What are the chances?

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Peace, Phobia, Psychology, Stress, Worrying

Be someone who makes you happy.

how to be happy

How often do we blame someone else for making us sad or angry or frustrated?

How often do we say that somebody is driving us crazy?

How often is that true?

I would argue that the answer to the last question is never. Nobody has the power to control how you feel – that’s up to you.

Now, before you all start shouting at me, telling me ‘it’s not as easy as that’, let me say – I know. Letting go of the things that upset your happiness is hard, it takes work and practise and can sometimes feel impossible, but it can be done.

The first thing to do is to be honest with yourself, accept the fact that you a flawed person who is not perfect, and actually believe that that’s OK. You don’t have to be perfect. Nobody else is either, and that’s OK too.

Next you have to try to do the things that make you happy, and to not do the things that make you feel guilty. That’s not to say you have to be perfect (see the first point I made) but that you have to be OK with your imperfections.

Thirdly, you might want to try meditation, particularly Mindfulness. It shows you that you are not your thoughts and emotions, and you can separate yourself from them. Just because an angry thought flits across your mind, you don’t have to become angry – you can let it go.

On paper, that all looks relatively easy, but it’s not. It takes time, persistence, patience and diligence and many people give up along the way. My advice would be to get help. Join meditation classes, try a little therapy (in my opinion CBT and Hypnotherapy would be most effective), spend time with people who have the same goals as you.

Whatever your path to happiness, you’ll find that other people or things can make a difference in the short term, but true happiness comes from you.

I hope you find a way to make you happy. I’m still a work in progress, but maybe I’ll meet you on somewhere on the journey if our paths cross 🙂

Leave a comment

Filed under Happy, Health, Mental Health, Peace, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help, Stress, Worrying

A life of contradictions

We like to put people in boxes – it helps us to feel that we have a handle on them – that we understand them. But in truth people are rarely that simple. Try describing yourself in 10 words..does that sum up the entirety of you? So why do you think you can do this to someone else?

In truth we are all a bundle of contradictions. It’s one of the ways a skilled mentalist or fake psychic can persuade you that they see the real you. In Tricks of the Mind, Derren Brown wrote a brilliant character analysis and gave it to a sample group, claiming he has ‘read’ this information from palm prints they sent to him. Almost all agreed it was spookily accurate, but in truth, they had all received the same thing. Does this mean that all these people were essentially the same? Well in some respects, yes, but I doubt any of them would have seen the others as their character twins.

He used truisms like ‘you are often prone to bouts of self examination’ and ‘you have given up on dreams too easily sometimes’ but he also used the contradictions we feel as thought they were some profound insight e.g. ‘You will often find yourself at a gathering and find yourself playing a part. While on one hand you find yourself being talkative and funny, you’ll also be detaching yourself to the point you feel utterly unable to engage’.

Derren often speaks out against fake psychics and explains their techniques. By listening to the explanations of how we can all be duped it offers us an insight into how we think. Despite our innate belief that we are in some way unique, and that no-one else can really understand us, it turns out we are mostly pretty similar in our peculiar set of contradictions.

So, next time you meet someone new and think you have them pegged ask yourself what contradictions lie behind the front you see?

If you want some help working on your own contradictions hypnosis can help. If you are in the Coventry area and would like to speak to someone about this check out http://www.talktherapies.co.uk for more info.

1 Comment

Filed under Development, Happy, Psychology