Self Care Advent Calendar Day 16

If you read my post yesterday, you’ll know that I wrote this yesterday in an attempt to get ahead of the game – I hope you enjoy it. What did you get ahead of, and how do you feel about it today knowing that you have one less thing to do?

One of the reasons I wanted to get this done yesterday is that today is my Partner’s Birthday. He is away at work in the morning, but will be home by afternoon and I want to make sure that the house is nice and clean, his favourite food and drinks are bought and prepared and that I can spend all my time celebrating with him.

Which brings me on to today’s topic – time.

The most valuable commodity you have is your time. We all have a limited amount of it – 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year and who knows how may years in our life. We sell our time to our clients or our employers. We give our time to our friends and family. Some of us have more than we know what to do with, some of us could do with bonus hours in the day and days in the week. Time is precious.

I often have people tell me that they don’t have time to do things. Exercise , meditation, cooking for themselves, mindfulness etc. My response tends to be that we all have the same amount of time in a day, we just have to decide how we are going to use it. When you say you don’t have time, what you mean is I prioritise other things over this.

Have you ever had a conversation with a child who wants you to do something with them, and you’ve said that you don’t have time. Try reframing that sentence into a priority statement. Instead of saying I don’t have time, you say it as I am prioritising something else over doing this with you. Now if the thing you are prioritising is important, that’s ok. Some things have to take priority – earning money to pay bills, buying food to eat, cooking meals to keep them healthy. If the thing you are prioritising is less important or maybe even selfish, then this sentence can highlight that and help you to see things in a more honest way. For example if you tell someone that you are prioritising getting drunk over helping them with something important to them, then you are going to struggle to justify that.

So, spend your time wisely today – and every day. It’s one of the few things you can never get back.

---

One of the ways you can tell if you, or someone you know, has an addiction is the way they prioritise their time. If fulfilling the addiction takes priority over everything else, like being with others, taking care of themselves or their children, or working, then it’s time to get some serious help. Hypnotherapy and other talking therapies are one of the best ways to help you break free of addictive patterns. See if you can get the need today.

Leap Year 2016 – Your Bonus Day

Hello shiny happy people.

Today is a bonus day – What are you going to do with it?

If you had to work today and you’re on a salary- that kind of sucks for you, because you’re working for free today. If however you are paid hourly, you’re earning BONUS money today – what will you spend it on?

You could spend it on food and rent and normal stuff, but where’s the fun in that? That’s not BONUS time.

Why not treat yourself to something you wouldn’t normally do

-buy some organic food

-book a therapy session

-get a facial

-try an art lesson

or then again, maybe you could use your bonus to give someone else a bonus

-donate to charity

-give to a homeless person

-help out your local animal shelter

-give to a food bank

Then again, maybe you’re not working at all – so you have bonus time!

Wow, what a treat!

What have you been putting off that you could get done on your bonus day?

Or then again maybe you’ve been getting bogged down with stuff and you could use your bonus day to give yourself a break?

Or maybe there’s something that you think you’d never do – maybe today is an opportunity to be daring?

Who Knows? Not me!

The one thing I do know though, is that time is precious. Don’t waste it, don’t expect it and act as though today could be your last day – one day you’ll be right and it would be such a shame to look back at time you could have enjoyed but didn’t quite find the time.

My Happy Jar

This is the latest post about my Happy Jar. It’s been a little while since I posted an update on this, but don’t worry there’s still plenty going in the jar 🙂

The Happy Jar is a way to look back and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month.

A pink sunrise (yes I know, red sky in the morning – shepherds warning, but it’s still pretty)

Catching up with old friends at a house warming

Seeing friends happy – on a new journey, full of excitement and anticipation.

Fresh Blueberries in my porridge for breakfast.

A gift to myself being delivered.

The smell of freshly cut grass after it has rained.

Seeing my old dog act like a puppy when she finds a new walk.

Listening to an album I haven’t played in years (and still remembering the words).

Sprouting seeds.

Finding an old friend on social media.

Getting my nerd on with a friend.

Finding out that some amazing shoes I want actually come in my size (I’m 6ft tall and have size 9 feet)

Getting great feedback from a post

Getting caught in the rain and running for cover (then getting home and dry!)

Rediscovering a joy in drawing.

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

Come sit down beside me

I just read a beautiful little poem – here it is for you.

Come sit down beside me, I said to myself.
And although it doesn’t make sense,
I held my own hand as a small sign of trust
And together I sat on the fence.

Michael Leunig

Sometime when we feel lonely or that we don’t quite fit in, we need to remember that we can sit beside ourselves and offer some comfort.

If you are religious, maybe you feel that your God is sitting beside you.

If you believe in an after life maybe it’s a lost relative or friend.

If you would rather believe in the universal energy, maybe that’s what will hold your hand.

Me, I’ll sit on the fence with me and make faces at everyone.

If you fancy it, come and join me 🙂

Everyone said

Here’s my weekly poem – I hope you enjoy it

It Couldn’t Be Done

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

      But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

      Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

      On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

      At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

      And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

      Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

      There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

      The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

      Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

      That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Time to try something new?

How to stop thinking

Have you ever had a thought that just won’t go away?

Maybe it’s the thought that something is going to happen, or not going to happen.

Maybe it’s the thought of needing to do something that you don’t really want to do.

Maybe it’s an argument that you keep playing over and over again in your head.

Whatever it is there are some tricks that are worth knowing if you really want to get the thought out of your head.

Just get on with it.

Our brains have this annoying habit of not letting go of something that has been left incomplete. Various studies have shown this to be true, and it is a technique hypnotists, like myself, use to get you to remember something in your subconscious. Once the task has been completed our brains file it as done and forget about it. So, if you have a nagging thought about doing your taxes, cleaning the loft, having a conversation with someone – just do it!

Stop thinking of Pink Elephants.

Ok, so if I tell you to not think of a pink elephant, the first thing your brain does is bring up the idea of a pink elephant. It has then failed to NOT think of a pink elephant, so it will then keep reminding you of it (see the above point). You can complete the action by deciding that you want to think about pink elephants for a minute. When the minute is up, you have completed the task and your brain can file it as done – no more pink elephants!

Plan to think about Pink Elephants.

If you can’t think about Pink Elephants now (or whatever it is you don’t want to think about) make a decision to think about Pink Elephants at a certain time. Write it down, schedule it in. Your brain can now file this under another heading – it’s not done yet, but you know when it will be, so you can stop thinking about it.

Do something that takes ALL of your concentration.

Your brain is amazing, but it can’t do too many things at once – not even if you’re a girl! By doing a task that really takes concentration you will forget about the pink elephants.

Talk about the Pink Elephants.

Talk about them, write about them, sing about them, draw pictures of them. Make use of friends, family, religious leaders, doctors, psychiatrists, counsellors, therapists, bar tenders, co-workers, the woman who serves you at the supermarket, the guy who delivers your Pizza – who ever and where ever you can, go on about the Pink Elephants until even you’re so bored of them that you don’t want to think about them any more.

Self Hypnosis

I wrote a post a while ago called let it go with hypnosis – check it out! It’s a really useful technique to get an unwanted thought out of your head – what have you got to lose?

And if all else fails, maybe you should try a little professional help – It’s what I’m here for!

Confused? You will be!

Have you ever been frustrated and unhappy because you were confused?

It can be really difficult when you don’t understand something, whether it’s Maths homework, someone’s behaviours, why your computer isn’t working or something completely different.

If you give up at this point, then all you have is your confusion.

The way to work through this is to learn. Learn about whatever it is that’s confusing you. Sometimes this will take time and thought to achieve, sometimes it will take lessons, sometimes it may just take a good nights rest – it’s amazing how often sleeping on a subject brings clarity.

Your subconscious can do a lot of processing for you whilst you sleep. Dreams are your brains way of ordering and reordering information, tidying the filing cabinet that’s in your head. If you are confused about something or someone, try not to make any decisions until you have had time to work through it a little. It can be impossible to take some things back, so make sure you give it time before you react.

Lastly it’s worth mentioning that it’s OK to be confused. My Hypnosis teacher once told me that from the greatest confusion comes the greatest understanding. I think he was right about that. If you think you understand something straight away then you tend not to examine it and  look at it in different ways. When you are confused by something you tend to analyse it and look at it from lots of different angles before you make sense of it.

That’s how you truly understand.

Embrace the confusion, learn and enjoy the understanding.

Thank Goodness it’s Monday!

T.G.I.M.

At last, It’s Monday!

You remember all those things you said you’d start on Monday – well It’s here!

Time to start!

Did you say you’d get fitter ? – go for a walk, run, skip or swim

Did you say you’d get healthier ? – eat something green, throw away your cigarettes, chuck out the booze

Did you say you’d start your diet ? – bin the sweets, lose the crisps, get rid of the cake

Did you say you’d get organised ? – clean out the cupboard, sort through the paperwork, tidy your office

Did you say you’d get in touch with people ? – pick up the phone, write the email, send a card

Did you sat you’d make time to relax ? – Light a candle, switch off the computer, listen to some music

Did you say you’d cook your own meals ? – Get your ingredients together, find a recipe and sharpen the knife.

Be excited – today is the day you were waiting for!

Have a great Monday x

Time flies when you’re having Fun

It’s Sunday – That lovely day when you have nothing pressing to do…

So why does it go so fast? And why do Mondays last so much longer?

Why does 5 minutes between snoozes on the alarm go by in seconds, but the 5 minutes before your lunch break takes an eternity?

Why does a watched kettle never boil?

Because you can distort time! (aren’t you a clever thing)

We all do it.

The problem is most of us are doing it wrong.

We extend the periods of boredom, of discomfort, of sadness or of pain, and we shorten the times of joy, relaxation, happiness and love.

In hypnosis, time distortion is a regular phenomenon. People often say to me that we’ve only been talking for a few minutes, when often an hour has gone by. This is a trick you can learn. When you are hypnotised your mind is incredibly focussed on one thought, usually the voice of the person who has hypnotised you. That focus is where time goes…it’s like you can’t concentrate on time and be completely focussed on something else. That’s why time can disappear when you are lost in a good book, listening to music, or having a great time with friends.

When you are unhappy, bored or in pain, your focus is often on the time itself…so it gets longer. By willing it to go fast, we extend it further and further until it feels like an eternity.

So, if you want time to pass quickly, STOP focussing on the time and START focussing on something else.

Sometimes that’s easier said than done, but that’s where hypnosis is fantastic. Whether you use self hypnosis or go to a clinical hypnotherapist, that focus can be achieved.

Enjoy what’s left of your weekend – I hope your happy moments last a life time 🙂