Tag Archives: support

How do I help a fussy eater?

Hello beautiful people!

It’s May already. A third of the way through the year? How’s it going? Are you getting closer to your goals? Have you given up on them? Maybe they’ve just changed as your priorities have.

In January I decided that May would be a good month to talk about food. So, here goes.

Food – I love food. That’s not quite right – I LOVE food. I’m one of those people who wake up in the morning thinking about what they are going to eat today. I enjoy eating it, I enjoy cooking it, I enjoy shopping for it, I enjoy trying new things and revisiting old familiar things.

I like exploring food – if there is a new taste, a new texture, a new sensation to be had – I want it. My partner recently tried miracle berries. They were on my bucket list to try, so I was very excited to give them a go.

Miracle berries have a strange property. They stop you from tasting sour. So we lined up a load of foods which you normally think of as sour or sharp. We cut up lemons, limes, grapefruit and cooking apples. We got sharp tasting liquids like lemon juice, and vinegar. We got pickled things like onions and cabbage. We even got some guinness – not a classically sharp taste, but suggested as part of our little experiment. We got them all lined up and sucked on our miracle berries.

You have to keep them in your mouth for about 5 minutes. They don’t have a particular taste and there was no real sensation so I was a little doubtful that they would work. We were both a little nervous going for our first sharp flavour, but figured in for a penny, in for a pound, so grabbed a wedge of lemon and bit in….

….and it was delicious! It had the sweetest, loveliest flavour ever! We were so thrilled with the effect we blatted through the rest of the foods, amazed with their varying flavours. It was a really good fun half an hour. The effect started to wear off towards the end, but it was a gradual fade, so the sharpness just crept in slowly, and was kind of great too.

As part of my practice I’ve worked with a few people with food phobias. Generally these are adults, as for some reason, people think it’s perfectly OK for their kids to be fussy eaters. They let their kids get away with a restricted diet which then leads to issues for them as adults. As well as obvious problems like malnutrition, poor skin, poor eyesight and generally poor health, being a fussy eater can make it more difficult for people to socialise, to be around others, to train and to manage their weight. For me, eating new things is such a joy, I love helping people discover that joy for themselves.

A couple of quick tricks you can try if you are trying to eat new things.

First – don’t force it! All you are doing is building resistance if you try to force yourself to eat something. Try getting yourself in a position where you can be relaxed and comfortable before you try a new food.

Secondly – make it a really small amount. What ever food you are trying, cut a really small amount of it up. I mean really small. Then put that tiny piece in your mouth. Notice what it feels like, what tasted you notice, what thoughts it makes you think of. Do this every day for a month. Always try a small piece, but if you feel more confident, you can make it a bit bigger each time.

Finally – cook it in a different way. Don’t like boiled carrots? Try roasting them…or poaching them in sugar water with star anise, or grating them on a salad, or grating them into a bolognaise sauce, or just try them raw! Just because you don’t like them the way that you’ve tried them before, doesn’t mean you won’t like them a different way.

 

 

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Filed under Blogging, Development, Dieting, experiment, Food, fun, Good News, Happy, Health, inspiration, lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Phobia, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Care, Self Help, support

Successful slimming

via Daily Prompt: Successful

Using wordpress’s daily prompt as a jumping point today’s post is about successful slimming, what it means to me and how you can make it easier to achieve.

Everyone has their own idea of what successful is, but to me the idea of successful slimming is about losing weight to get a healthier body, but without any of this suffering nonsense. It’s about not feeling hungry, it’s about eating foods that I love and it’s about not feeling restricted.

So how do you go about losing weight in a successful way?

For me the first place to start is in your head. As with most things in life, when you get your head in the right place the rest is easy. Have you ever been on a diet that failed in the first few days? Or maybe stuck to it for a week or two but felt awful the whole time? If that’s ever happened to you I would suggest that your head wasn’t in the right place to begin with.

When you decide to change something in your life it’s always a bit odd at first – after all, you’re not used to doing it. It can be useful to examine your motivation before you get started, so that you know what you’re working for.

People tend to fall into one of two categories when it comes to reasons to change. The first group are running away from something. With weight loss, they could be running from being fat, from not looking the way they want to, from shopping in plus sized stores, from feeling breathless, from aching joints or from the way that they feel inside. The other group run towards something. It could be running towards feeling slim, to liking the way they look more, to shopping at a high street/designer store, to feeling fitter, to walking easily or to feeling better in themselves. In essence these are the same set of motivators but put in a different way.

People have a natural tendency to fall into one camp or another, and sometimes there is a specific incident that affects that. For instance if someone was very overweight and they could not go on a rollercoaster it may be natural to want to run from that situation and want to change it. Or maybe there is a future event that you want to lose weight for, like a wedding, which gives you something to run towards.

I would say that you should think about whatever motivates you in the best way for you, but where you can, think about what you want, not what you don’t want. Our brains are not very good at discerning the words don’t or not. For instance in the phrase ‘don’t panic’ our brain tends to focus on the word panic….and panics. If that is exchanged for the words ‘stay calm’ then there is a much better chance that the word we react to is calm.

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that we are all our own greatest hypnotists, and that most of the things that we think are recycled round and round in our heads. If the words you are using are things like ‘I don’t want to be fat’ or ‘I don’t want to eat cake today’ your brain is picking up the words fat and eat cake – which puts temptation right in our path, over and over again. No wonder it’s a struggle. Instead consciously use the words ‘I want to be thinner’ and ‘I want to make healthy food choices today’. That way you have your own personal diet supporter with you every moment.

You might like some of the other posts this January on weight loss and diet. Give them a click to see more.

Crack your cravings   Why am I always hungry?   January diet tips   Eat the rainbowwww.talktherapies.co.uk


Being at a healthy weight is one of the most important things you can do to take care of yourself. If you ( or someone you care about) has trouble managing their weight there are people out there who can help. Losing weight doesn’t have to be hard!

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Filed under Blogging, coaching, Development, Dieting, experiment, Food, fun, Good News, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, Motivation, nutrition, Positivity, Psychology, Self Care, Self Help, support

Self Care Advent Calendar Day 1

Yay – It’s December! Day 1 of the advent calendar. I’ve seen many different advent calendars being sold this year. Some have nothing but pictures in, others have chocolates or toys and some more grown up ones have perfume, make-up or alcohol. All of these sound fun, but I wanted to create something which might be more useful – and FREE!

As my little Christmas gift to you I’m creating a self care advent calendar. Each day I will write a post suggesting ways that you can look after yourself. If you think that sounds a little selfish – self care – then you don’t completely understand the concept. Self care is important for those around you as well as for yourself. ‘You can’t pour from an empty vessel’ so you need to make sure you’re in good shape to help those who need you. Also, anyone who loves you will be happier knowing you are happier, so it’s good for everyone.

So what constitutes self care? It’s a broad range of activities. Sometimes self care is eating healthily, sometimes it’s having a slice of cake. Sometimes self care is a walk in the fresh air, sometimes it’s snuggling up on the sofa with a good book. Sometimes self care is being around people, sometimes it’s being alone.

Today lets start with the basics. Get up, get clean and get dressed. If you’re in a good place, that’s easy. If you’re not, it can be more difficult.

Today is the first – the start of a new month. Maybe it could be the start of something new for you? A new routine, a new way of doing your hair, a new outfit combo, whatever works for you.

If you’re in a good place – change things up. If you’re in not such a good place, get up, get clean and get dressed. If you have nowhere to go, no-one to see and nothing planned it’s all too easy to not worry about the basics. What’s the point of getting up? What’s the point of showering? What’s the point of getting dressed? The point is, it will make you feel better. Maybe a lot better, maybe just a little. Still better. Self care can be a a path travelled in baby steps. Small Challenges. Things you CAN achieve.

A strange part of out psychology is that when we achieve something – big or small – it helps us to go on to achieve other things. People often say if you want something doing, give it to someone who’s busy. Although on the surface that makes no sense (surely you would give it to the person with less to do, so that they have time to do it) but the reality is, people who get stuff done, get stuff done!

So today, be someone who gets stuff done. It’s a great way to start the month, who know’s what you’ll be able to achieve by the end of it….


If you struggle with getting started with things, you are not alone. But don’t think that you can’t change it – you can. If you struggle to do that on your own, there are plenty of people out there ready and willing to help. Look for a good therapist and get the help you need.

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Filed under addiction, Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, Exercise, experiment, Good News, Happy, Health, inspiration, lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Self Care, Self Help, support

No shoes day 2016

No shoes day 2016

#withoutshoes

Would you like to help a child who doesn’t have shoes? Well, today is no shoes day, and you can help – for free!

It’s a day where you are asked to abandon your shoes to focus your mind on the millions of people around the world who don’t have the luxury of having shoes.

Think about that for a moment.

Forget about a home, with heating or air conditioning. Forget about a computer. Forget about alcohol, caffeine, convenience food or fresh fruit. Forget about fashionable clothes, designer gear or clothes with the right label.

Millions of people don’t have shoes.

Insect bites or small cuts are particularly dangerous on feet as the chances are the people with no shoes are not walking in the most sanitary of conditions. The open wounds mean that they can pick up infections that become ground into the the feet. This can be life threatening.

A lot of these people will be children. Children struggling to survive by scavenging through rubbish tips. Can you imagine having to go through other peoples rubbish in order to find some scraps that you can sell so that you can eat? Now imagine doing it with no shoes on. Scrabbling through broken glass, twisted metal and filthy needles.

TOMS are giving you a chance to help – and it wont even cost you anything. Instagram a picture of your naked feet with #withoutshoes and they’ll give a pair of shoes to a child who needs them. Check it out…  http://www.toms.com/one-day-without-shoes

If you think this is a good idea, share it. Repost it. Write your own post about it.

Make a difference.

 

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My Wordpress Birthday

I had a message from WordPress today to let me know it was my 2 year anniversary.

How time flies.

There have been times over the 2 years when I have blogged daily, there have been other times when I was lucky if I managed to write something once a month.

I started slow.

I don’t really know what I expected.

As I have said in previous posts, I had two main reasons to blog. The first was to share ideas that might help people. I come across all sorts of issues in my hypnotherapy practice and some of them are relatively easy to resolve. It just takes a change of perspective and a little practice. I’ve tried to share these things and I’ve had some lovely feedback from people who have given it a go.

Which brings me on to my second reason for blogging – to showcase an promote my business. This has had a really positive effect for me. Not only have I helped to increase the visibility of my website on Google and Bing, but I have also had a resource to send clients to when they are looking to find out a little bit more about me and what I do. I have also had clients who have found me from my blog, which was a little unexpected, but an absolute thrill for me.

Another unexpected bonus was that I have had a few more likes on my Facebook and Twitter pages – again, helping to improve my visibility to clients.

As with all things, people have to know you’re there before they can get to know you, so when I’m going through one of my more prolific stages I try to like and comment on other peoples blogs to advertise my presence. This has been one of the most rewarding things of all. Getting to know some of you, reading your wonderful thoughts and experiences and seeing your struggles has helped me enormously. If you want a better understanding of what people with depression or anxiety go through – read their work. If you want ideas on how to help and support them – understand them. If you want to see things from a different perspective – look for different perspectives. The people who write and share on here are heroes who have a wealth of knowledge and experience for you to see. Go and find them – it’s truly brilliant.

So I guess what I want to say on my two year anniversary is Thank You.

Thank You for clicking on my links.

Thank you for reading my blog.

Thank you for all the support and feedback you have given me.

Thank you for helping me with technical issues that confused and bothered me.

Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with me.

Thank you for helping me to understand.

Thank you for everything.

Hopefully we’ll all still be here in another couple of years – tapping away on our keyboards and sharing our thoughts with the world – but until we get to celebrate that milestone – Thank You.

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Filed under Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, fun, Good News, Happy, Health, lifestyle, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help, Self Hypnosis

Lean on me, I won’t fall over.

These are the lyrics of a song that means a lot to me. I’ve posted the lyrics rather than a you tube video, because I know the type of music will put some people off listening to it and I think that’s a shame. If you feel like it, I strongly recommend checking it out – it’s called lean on me, I won’t fall over and it’s by Carter USM. Everyone needs to lean on someone from time to time. Who’s there for you? Who are you there for? Do they know?

One of these days you’ll get away from London town
Causing chaos and delay on the underground
I’ll read your letter as I pass away the time
Stuck in a tunnel on the Hammersmith and City line

I’ll hurry home a little bored but still alive
Unplug the phone to keep the outside world outside
I’ll take some aspirin then I’ll take myself to bed
You’ll be gone and you’ll be dead, all because I never said

Lean on me I won’t fall over
I’m made of steel and stone cold sober
If you feel the need come over
Lean on me I won’t fall over

You’re off the wagon, you were never really on
Chasing the dragon like you’re
Saint f***ing George or someone
Stop punching walls don’t cut yourself
Shift some burden onto somebody else

Lean on me I won’t fall over
I’m made of steel and stone cold sober
If you feel the need come over
Lean on me I won’t fall over

Am I made of wood, am I too arrogant?
To be the last of the good Samaritans?
Stop punching walls, don’t cut yourself
Try shifting some burden onto someone else

Don’t give up hope if you think you can’t cope
We should keep in touch if it gets too much
Have faith in yourself for the sake of your health
Stop sniffing glue try something new
Confide in your friends you’ll get by in the end
If nothing else works have you tried the church?

I didn’t want to be so dozy, darling
I should have promised you a rosy garden
And told you life is sweet, stick around and enjoy it
Flush that stupid nonsense down the toilet
And lean on me I want fall over

Songwriters
CARTER, LESLIE GEORGE / MORRISON, JAMES NEIL

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Mental Illness is not contagious

Don’t be scared about being around someone who has a mental illness – it’s not contagious!

You can’t catch it by being kind to them.

You can’t catch it by spending time with them.

You can’t catch it by asking them what you can do to help.

You can’t catch it by talking to them.

In actual fact you can’t catch it at all.

That’s not to say that it is always easy living with someone who has a mental illness. It can be hard, confusing, scary and frustrating because you want them to be well and struggle to understand how you can help and support them.

Help is out there.

Help is there for people struggling with mental illness and help is also there for people trying to support someone who is suffering.

Getting help doesn’t mean that you’re weak or that you can’t cope – it just means that it’s OK to make it easier on yourself.

If you had to move a piano down a flight of steps would you try and do it on your own? Maybe you could, but wouldn’t it be easier with some friends to help – or even better some people who’s job it was to move pianos. Those people have the tools, skills and experience to do it in the easiest way.

So if you know someone who is suffering – either personally or because they are trying to support someone who is – be a friend. Lend a hand, or an ear, or even a shoulder to cry on. I know it can be difficult to know what to say or do, but just ask them if they’re ok and let them know that you’re there if they need to talk. You might be the only one who does and it can make a world of difference.

Did you know that statistically the biggest killer of men under 50 in the western world is suicide. Notice that I said men not people.

That’s because men are much more likely to commit suicide than women.

Do you know why? Because women talk more.

If you walk into work and see a woman colleague in tears, it’s pretty likely that at least one other woman will gather her up, take her off to the toilets and talk to her.

Now imagine it was a male colleague – what would happen then?

It should be the same, but it’s not.

Talking doesn’t make the problem go away, but somehow it makes it easier to deal with. You get support, caring, understanding and find a way through. When you try and do it all alone, you find that you can get into very destructive negative thinking patterns and have no one there to offer a different perspective. The downward spiral can be fast and horrific but it can be stopped – just by talking.

If people can’t talk to friends or family encourage them to talk to someone else. Maybe it’s a doctor or therapist, maybe it’s someone on a help line – hell, maybe it’s a bartender, but talking is always good.

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Filed under coaching, depression, Good News, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Peace, Positivity, Psychology

What do you want most in the whole world – and what are you doing about it?

dont-give-up

What do you want most in the whole world?

To be fit?

To be healthier?

To lose weight?

To start your own business?

To become a writer?

To be a parent?

The list could be endless – we all have our own goals and our own dreams. What ever your dream is, you should be going for it. Dreams don’t work unless you do.

The problem is that most of us don’t want to do all the work that will get us there.

Want to be fit but don’t like working out?

Want to be healthier but don’t like watching what you eat?

Want to lose weight but don’t want to cut down the calories?

Want to start your own business but don’t want to leave the comfort of your job?

Want to be a writer, but don’t want to go through the hassle of finding an agent?

Want to be a parent but don’t want tot commit to a change of lifestyle?

If you have a goal, a dream, a burning desire to change your life you need to focus on the long term result, not how you feel in the short term. That can be difficult as it’s hard to see the end result when it months or maybe even years away, but what you want now will give you a quick (and short term) reward.

So how do you focus on the long term stuff?

One way is through hypnosis. Under hypnosis you can see and experience what it will be like when you have finally achieved your goal. You get to experience the long term win in the short term. Then, still in hypnosis, you can follow your time line back to where you are today and see all the changes that you make between now and then in order to achieve your goal. By seeing the changes that you make and realising how they all add up to get you to where you want to be it can make it much easier to get the things that you need to do done.

So, don’t give up what you want most, for what you want now.

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World Mental Health Day 2014

wmhd

Today is World Mental Health Day.

This years aim is to highlight mental health and more specifically schizophrenia.

In the wake of the death of Robin Williams, the world became more open to talking about mental health and in particular depression. Unfortunately, research out this week shows that although attitudes have indeed significantly improved in the last few years, the stigma is still widespread. Nine of ten people with mental health problems say this has had a negative impact on their lives.

The easy test of this is that most of us would simply not feel as comfortable telling friends and family about having a mental health problem, as they would saying they had a physical illness.

For illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, the stigma can be particularly stark. Research commissioned by Rethink Mental Illness found 65% of people would not tell their employer if they were diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s hard to imagine the same proportion of people would keep a cancer diagnosis a secret.

Many people are now familiar with the often quoted statistic that 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in any given year. Whilst this is true, it doesn’t take into account that fact that we all have mental health that needs to be taken care of, in the same way we all have physical health. While most of us won’t develop a diagnosable mental health problem, our mental health will have ups and downs and we can all benefit from taking steps to protect our wellbeing. It also ignores the fact that the one in four people who are diagnosed have friends, family and colleagues who will be affected by this. In some way mental health issues affect us all.

This year, pledge to make a difference about mental health.

You can

  • choose to be more open about your own issues
  • choose to be more supportive to friends or family who suffer with these issues
  • choose to be an employer who is open about helping staff with mental health issues
  • choose to read and understand more about the issues that people face
  • choose to donate time or money to organisations who help people in these circumstances
  • choose to get help if you need it
  • choose to take care of your mental health to try to prevent problems occurring
  • choose to notice how things affect you and those around you.

What do you choose?

If you need to get help or want to help someone that is suffering there are many amazing organisations around the world who are willing and able to support you.

In the UK visit MIND or Rethink

In America visit Mental Health America

In Australia visit Mental Health Australia

I’ve added these links purely as examples of what is there. Please search in your local area and find a group or organisation who will give you the support you need and who in turn, you can support.

Wishing everyone out there a happy, healthy and Mentally Healthy weekend.

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