Les Barker is an English poet. He is best known for his comedic poetry and parodies of popular songs, however he has also produced some very serious thought-provoking written work.
I DON’T LIKE MY BOOMERANG
I don’t like my boomerang.
I know what you’re going to say:
If you hate your boomerang so much
Why don’t you throw it away?
That’s all very well in theory.
It may seem that simple to you.
Why don’t you throw your boomerang away?
‘Cos I threw it away yesterday too.
There are times when life is not easy.
There are days when the future looks black.
There are days when you throw your boomerang away.
There are days when your boomerang comes back.
I believe in predestination;
My boomerang’s future is clear.
On the days that I throw my boomerang away
It’s predestination’s back here.
There are times it gets me down;
Perhaps I shouldn’t let it.
What I can’t understand is this:
How did I ever get it?
Sometimes, when in the front garden
I throw it, then hurry in doors.
Within half an hour, there’s a ring on the bell
And a little boy says: “Is this yours?”
Once I got really angry.
I taped some dynamite to it,
And without really thinking things through,
I lit the fuse and I threw it.
With hindsight, this was an error.
We learn lessons from life; I was taught it
It’s better to think before throwing your boomerang.
Never think after you’ve caught it.
I’ve resorted to desperate measures;
Sometimes when I throw the stick,
I try to move house before it comes back
But you can’t get a mortgage that quick.
I had a Jack Russell terrier once;
I used to call him Jack.
I used to throw my boomerang for him.
The stick used to bring the dog back.
I’ve seen the sticker in car windows;
It gets me right here, like a knife:
A boomerang’s not just for Christmas;
A boomerang is for life.