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Here’s my weekly poem – I hope you enjoy it

It Couldn’t Be Done

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

      But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

      Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

      On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

      At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

      And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

      Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

      There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

      The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

      Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

      That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Be nice to yourself.

I was with a client yesterday who told me that they were annoyed with themselves for not having done hypnotherapy earlier.

It’s something I hear quite a lot.

I felt the same way when I gave up smoking.

I was incredibly pleased with what I had done, but then became annoyed that I had smoked for 17 years.

Personally I believe the skills hypnotherapy teaches should be taught at school.

But they’re not.

Don’t focus on what you’ve struggled with before, be happy how easy it will be in the future.

Have a great day.

🙂

Quitting Smoking is Easy

“Quitting smoking is easy – I’ve done it thousands of times” – Mark Twain

In the UK the powers that be have decided to run a campaign to help people to stop smoking. They call it Stoptober.

As a Hypnotherapist I have helped lots of people become smoke free – and that’s how I like to refer to it – becoming smoke free. When you stop or give up something, there is a feeling of loss. When you are free from something, there is a feeling of relief.

I became smoke free after smoking for 17 years.

I had tried to stop smoking before that, but had always failed. I tried nicotine replacement with gums, and patches and even electronic vapes, but I always felt like it was a poor substitute for an actual cigarette.

You know why? – because it was.

I was still feeding my body with this pernicious drug, but not in the way it wanted it. By drip feeding it nicotine, I was keeping it hooked, but never satisfying it.

I used to think ‘If I could just have a cigarette I would feel so much better because I would get rid of the cravings’.

This was wrong – having a cigarette, or any kind of nicotine, is the only way to keep the cravings in place. You’re never getting rid of them, you’re just postponing them for a bit.

The only way to get rid of cravings is to not have any of the drug.

When I went cold turkey – no nicotine at all – it took 2 days for the drug to leave my system. I had done some work with hypnosis and so this was fairly easy to deal with. It was no worse than feeling a bit hungry. Honestly – that was as bad as it got. Then, 2 short days later, I was free.

Forever.

I cannot explain how good that makes me feel. Not only do I feel like I’ve conquered something that had tripped me up for years, but I also feel like I’ve taken control of a part of my life that I had felt was lost to me. I feel more positive about my health, I have more money and I no longer stink the place out!

I’m not here to tell you to quit smoking – only you can decide when it’s the right time for you.

I just want you to know that it’s going to be a lot easier than you think – especially if you get the right help.

Therapy – Disney Style

The Bare Necessities From “The Jungle Book” composed by Terry Gilkyson is as good as any philosophy when it comes to breaking addiction.

The final verse..

And don’t spend your time lookin’ around
For something you want that can’t be found
When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin’ about it
I’ll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you

I heard this song not long after I quit smoking and it struck me as an absolute truth. The moment you stop thinking about it, is the moment you are free. I had quit smoking several times before and had always seen it as a massive challenge. Every day was my own personal battle to beat my cravings. The longest I had ever managed before was about 3 months and always with the help of some sort of nicotine replacement. I had tried chewing gum, patches, inhilators, ecigs and lozenges. All of them were pretty disgusting to start with, but I persevered as it was the only way for me to get my nicotine fix.

As time went on and I tried to wean myself off this replacement, it could go one of two ways. Sometimes I would find it hard and then I would think it was all pointless and start smoking again and sometimes it I would find it relatively easy and I would think, well, that was OK, I could probably just have one cigarette….and I would start smoking again.

So, what changed?

Well, I had pretty much given up giving up. I figured I was just too weak willed and I was stuck with it. I was studying hypnotherapy with a group of people and one of the things we learned was how to help people quit smoking. There were two of us in the group who smoked and so, obviously, everyone wanted to try their therapy skills on us. I kept telling them I was a lousy subject, as I didn’t really want to quit – I had come to terms with the fact that I was going to be a smoker for the rest of my life, but this didn’t deter them. After several days of inductions and therapies I took some pleasure in going out at every break and lighting up. The course ended and everyone went home.

About 2 weeks or so later I started working on a programme that I could use as a therapist to help people who wanted to quit. The more I read about it and the more I wrote, the more I realised that I really didn’t want to smoke any more, so I stopped. As simple as that. The combination of the therapy I had received along with my own personal decision to stop was all it took.

No nicotine replacement, No struggle. I just stopped.

The significant difference between this and all the other times I had tried, was that I just wasn’t thinking about it.

All the the hypnotic suggestions that had been given to me had changed my subconscious enough to stop me dwelling on it. And so I go back to my little Disney ditty..

When you find out you can live without it
And go along not thinkin’ about it
I’ll tell you something true

The bare necessities of life will come to you.

If you are suffering from addiction of any kind, cigarettes, food, drugs, sex, gambling, shopping….or anything else you feel you can’t live without my advice to you is Don’t give up giving up, just try something new. Maybe Hypnotherapy will work as well for you as it did for me.

Stoptober – great idea or waste of time and money?

In the UK the powers that be have decided to rename October to Stoptober. There is a large marketing campaign and no doubt millions of pounds are being used to market this initiative, which is aimed at helping people to stop smoking.

A worthy cause.

But is this money well spent? 

Is it useful to try to tell people to stop smoking for a month? 

In my humble opinion this fails on a number of levels.

Firstly, as an ex smoker I resisted any attempt people made to get me to sop smoking. It just made me more determined that ‘I would be the master of my own destiny’, ‘make the choices I wanted to’, ‘ live the life I chose’. Of course, in retrospect this was just my nicotine riddled brain trying to make excuses to keep feeding myself a drug, but at the time any and all attempts to get me to stop smoking only strengthened my resolve to do as I chose.

Secondly, why stop for a month? Statistically if you can stop for at least a month you are more likely to stay a non smoker, but statistics do not tell the entire story. I would suggest that most people who continue to smoke fail quickly – I know I frequently did on the numerous attempts I made with patches, gum, electronic cigarettes, cold turkey etc. Occasionally I would go for a moth of two, but when it came time to give up my alternative nicotine source I was generally smoking again pretty quickly.

The main problem I have with the concept of quitting for a month is that mentally you are then preparing yourself to start again in November. You are looking forward to it. You are telling yourself if I can just get through the next month then everything will be OK – you are torturing yourself with denial. When I finally managed to be free of smoking for good I made the decision with absolute certainty that I would never smoke again – and it worked. The first couple of days were a bit annoying but at some time on that second day I had a moment of pure joy as I realized I had done it – I was free! 

Thirdly there is the cost aspect. At a time when there is cost cutting all over our public sectors and the NHS is being squeezed to the point that cancer sufferers can’t get the drugs they need, I think we should be spending our money more wisely. Yes prevention is better than cure. Yes I would rather they spend money on stopping someone getting ill than treating the illness. Yes we should help people to stop smoking. How? By investing in the most effective way to help change a habit, thought or idea – Hypnosis. It’s not just for entertainment. It is a powerful amazing therapy that helped me and thousands if not millions more to be permanently smoke free – and Happy about it!

The last issue I have with Stoptober is that I think it’s being used for the wrong thing. For the reasons I have already stated I think stopping smoking is for life and should be thought of in those terms from the start. So what could we stop for a month and see some benefits? Take aways? Alcohol? Coffee shop visits? How would your life improve? How much money would you save? What would you do with that money? A treat for yourself or maybe a donation to charity as a treat for your soul?

Maybe it’s a thought we should stop thinking for a month. Maybe it’s a word we stop using. Maybe it’s something we should START….

Whatever works for you, do it! 

If you need a helping hand to make changes in your life Hypnosis is a great tool.

Talk Therapies is based in Coventry, UK.

For a One to One session or if you have any questions please call on 07429 749936 or email to talktherapies@gmail.com

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