Tag Archives: Self-Help

Mental Illness is not contagious

Don’t be scared about being around someone who has a mental illness – it’s not contagious!

You can’t catch it by being kind to them.

You can’t catch it by spending time with them.

You can’t catch it by asking them what you can do to help.

You can’t catch it by talking to them.

In actual fact you can’t catch it at all.

That’s not to say that it is always easy living with someone who has a mental illness. It can be hard, confusing, scary and frustrating because you want them to be well and struggle to understand how you can help and support them.

Help is out there.

Help is there for people struggling with mental illness and help is also there for people trying to support someone who is suffering.

Getting help doesn’t mean that you’re weak or that you can’t cope – it just means that it’s OK to make it easier on yourself.

If you had to move a piano down a flight of steps would you try and do it on your own? Maybe you could, but wouldn’t it be easier with some friends to help – or even better some people who’s job it was to move pianos. Those people have the tools, skills and experience to do it in the easiest way.

So if you know someone who is suffering – either personally or because they are trying to support someone who is – be a friend. Lend a hand, or an ear, or even a shoulder to cry on. I know it can be difficult to know what to say or do, but just ask them if they’re ok and let them know that you’re there if they need to talk. You might be the only one who does and it can make a world of difference.

Did you know that statistically the biggest killer of men under 50 in the western world is suicide. Notice that I said men not people.

That’s because men are much more likely to commit suicide than women.

Do you know why? Because women talk more.

If you walk into work and see a woman colleague in tears, it’s pretty likely that at least one other woman will gather her up, take her off to the toilets and talk to her.

Now imagine it was a male colleague – what would happen then?

It should be the same, but it’s not.

Talking doesn’t make the problem go away, but somehow it makes it easier to deal with. You get support, caring, understanding and find a way through. When you try and do it all alone, you find that you can get into very destructive negative thinking patterns and have no one there to offer a different perspective. The downward spiral can be fast and horrific but it can be stopped – just by talking.

If people can’t talk to friends or family encourage them to talk to someone else. Maybe it’s a doctor or therapist, maybe it’s someone on a help line – hell, maybe it’s a bartender, but talking is always good.

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Filed under coaching, depression, Good News, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Peace, Positivity, Psychology

Know yourself

Hi, my name is Sue.

I’m good at some things and not so good at others.

I am easily distracted – I think I may have been a magpie in a former incarnation. Shiny things (shiny ideas, toys, time wasters) can grab my attention.

I am good at finding creative solutions to problems.

For instance I get very excited at the start of a project – I come up with lots of ideas and think of imaginative and creative ways to do things. As time goes by I can become bored with my ideas and / or lose confidence in them and some of my plans and ideas fall by the wayside – my long term consistency can be lacking.

Other people can struggle with coming up with a plan, but once it’s made they will see it through to the finish, no matter what.

We are all different.

Now, of course, you can try to mould yourself into the person you want to be, but if you are fighting against your nature, then you are going to find it a difficult task to achieve.

The trick to achieving want you want is to understand yourself and try to work with your strengths.

Whenever I see a client who wants to change their life in some way, I ask them what they are good at, and what they are not so good at.

It constantly surprises me how difficult people find these questions to answer.

So – What are you good at?

– What are you not so good at?

Now think about a goal or plan that you have for yourself – maybe it’s to lose weight, get fitter, get a promotion, start your own business, grow your blog, change your relationship – whatever it is, think about how you can use your strengths to help you to achieve it. When you’ve worked out how you can get things changed, think about what might go wrong. Go back and look at the things you don’t do so well, and try to use your strengths to find solutions to overcome these potential obstacles.

This achieves two things.

Firstly you are working to your strengths – even when dealing with the things you don’t do so well. This means you are far more likely to succeed than if you are trying to change the things you struggle with.

Secondly – you have a plan. I know it’s a cheesy old saying but ‘Fail to plan and you plan to fail’. We are all at risk of forgetting what our goal is for thinking about what we want/don’t want right now. By having a plan – and writing it down – you achieve a different mindset. You keep your eyes on the prize and don’t forget about the overall aim so easily. If you set yourself mini goals within your overall goal it also helps to keep you focussed and motivated as you tick off the things that you have achieved.

Anyone can do anything the set their mind to – it takes work and dedication, but it can be done. I just think knowing yourself and acting accordingly makes it so much easier.

Good Luck with your goals 🙂

talktherapies

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Everyone said

Here’s my weekly poem – I hope you enjoy it

It Couldn’t Be Done

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done
      But he with a chuckle replied
That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one
      Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
      On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
      That couldn’t be done, and he did it!
Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;
      At least no one ever has done it;”
But he took off his coat and he took off his hat
      And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.
With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,
      Without any doubting or quiddit,
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
      That couldn’t be done, and he did it.
There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,
      There are thousands to prophesy failure,
There are thousands to point out to you one by one,
      The dangers that wait to assail you.
But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,
      Just take off your coat and go to it;
Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing
      That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

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Back to work

I’m just preparing for my first client of the New Year.

I’ll be seeing her tomorrow, and I have limited information on what we will be doing, so there is only so much prep I can do, but I have to say I have been enjoying getting ready and making sure that I’m organised.

Don’t get me wrong, Christmas has been lovely. I really enjoyed the break and the down time with friends and family, but getting back to work gives me a wonderful sense of purpose.

I know that I’m lucky doing what I do – I help people.

I’ve had corporate jobs and done the 9-5 office thing and that was OK too, but there is nothing like working for yourself in a job that you love.

So here’e the thing – when you think about going back to work, does it make you feel good or fill you with a sense of dread?

If it makes you feel good – that’s great. You’re doing something that you like/love and you’re probably pretty good at it. Appreciate how lucky you are to be in that position.

If you’re neutral about it – well, that’s OK too. You don’t hate your job, but you don’t love it either. Maybe this year is the year when you could start to think about something that really drives you, something you’re passionate about. Could this be something that you could do for a living? If you have passion for something it makes you keep at it – then you get good at it. When you’re good at anything, you can turn that into a profession, and maybe love your job…

If the idea of returning to work makes you stressed, feel sick, depressed or just unhappy, it really is time to rethink things.

I would suggest that the first thing you need to get sorted is you. Start to do some self improvement work. This can take many forms from reading books, meditating, joining support groups or even trying out some therapy. When you feel strong and confident in your own capabilities, you will have the tools and the energy to make the changes you need to make.

Here’s to 2015!

The year we all find out how to love what we do and do what we love.

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Be nice to yourself.

lose weight coventry

I was with a client yesterday who told me that they were annoyed with themselves for not having done hypnotherapy earlier.

It’s something I hear quite a lot.

I felt the same way when I gave up smoking.

I was incredibly pleased with what I had done, but then became annoyed that I had smoked for 17 years.

Personally I believe the skills hypnotherapy teaches should be taught at school.

But they’re not.

Don’t focus on what you’ve struggled with before, be happy how easy it will be in the future.

Have a great day.

🙂

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Mind your own grass

grass

If the grass always looks greener on the other side, maybe you should spend more time looking after your own.

On the other hand, sometimes other people’s grass looks greener because it’s fertilised with lots of horse poo!

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October 30, 2014 · 5:41 pm

Do you bully yourself?

bully

When you speak to yourself, are you a bully or a friend?

Most people don’t like to think of themselves as a bully, but when they start listening to their inner voice, they can begin to notice how mean they are to themselves.

Most of the damage to our self-esteem is self-inflicted.

Unfortunately, we often respond to rejections and failures by becoming self-critical, listing all our faults and short-comings, calling ourselves names, and basically kicking ourselves when we’re already down. We also tell ourselves that we’re ‘not good enough’, that we ‘always mess things up’ or that we are ‘just too lazy and have no self control’. If we had somebody in our lives who spoke to us like that we would hate them and wonder why they kept picking on us. We then use ridiculous justifications to justify the way we speak to ourselves, the way we damage our self-esteem when it is already hurting—“I deserve it,” “It will keep me humble,” “It’s a way to keep my expectations low, or “It’s true; I hate myself!”

If there’s one “program” we could all start that would do wonders for our self-esteem, it’s abolishing needless self-criticism and punitive self-talk – it’s one of the most effective forms of self hypnosis and it’s free!

Try it today – If you hear your inner bully rearing it’s ugly head, see it for what it is, tell it to be nice and get your inner cheer leader out to give you a boost instead.

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Self Hypnosis – Magnetic palms

Sue Griffin Hypnotist

People tend to fall into different categories when it comes to how they interpret the world. broadly speaking you are either Visual (you would say things like ‘What would your ideal day look like’) Audio (you would say things like ‘Tell me about your ideal day’) or Kinaesthetic (you would say things like ‘How would your ideal day feel‘)

This technique is more geared towards the kinaesthetic types amongst you, but can be used by the other groups too.


Firstly, position the hands 10-20 centimetres apart in front of you with the palms facing each other. Have your arms straight out in front of you but relaxed and at ease. Fix your eyes on the space in between them.

Now bring your hands in towards you and rub the hands together – really rub them together fast and generate some heat in the palms, then the heat in the hands. When you can feel the energy they have generated put them,back into the starting position in front of you.

This is when you need to engage your thoughts and imagination – the engine for self hypnosis.

Imagine that there is a magnetic force pulling your hands together. You might want to imagine there are magnets placed on the palms of each of your hands and that you can feel the pull of them towards each other. Imagine that you can feel it happening, as if it is a distinct sensation all of its own that is drawing the hands in. You might also say to yourself the words “my hands draw closer together with each breath I breathe” to really engage your brain.

If prefer something more visual, you might like to imagine the ‘magnetic force’ as a light, a wave or a colour that aids the process of drawing the hands in together. Maybe you imagine that string is tied around the hands and is being pulled tighter as the hands draw closer. You could imagine elastic between them that keeps pulling them closer… Basically, anything that you can imagine that would force the hands closer together, make it as vivid and clear as you can and let the process happen.

Don’t deliberately move your hands together – let your subconscious control that process. It might happen quite quickly, or it may take a while to get going, but you tend to find that the closer your hands get, the faster they draw together. Stay relaxed and enjoy the process. You may find the movement is steady and smooth, or you may find that the movements are jerky and a bit twitchy. Notice the sensations that you feel in your fingers, hands and arms.

The moment that your hands come together you can relax your hands and arms and let them drop. Notice that the moment that you do this you can feel all the muscles in your body relax and you can drift downwards into a really comfortable and relaxed feeling.

This is the time that you can use a deepener to go even further into trance and then carry out any change work that you want to do ( you can read about this in other posts ) or you can just enjoy the sensation and say a few positive affirmations – the choice is yours.


I hope you give this a try, and if it doesn’t feel like the right approach for you try one of the other self hypnosis techniques I’ve posted.

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Don’t sweat the small stuff

small stuff

I read a great post yesterday on Second & NE about taking time out and not getting too caught up in everyday stresses.

It reminded me of the fact that we can all get lost so easily in our ‘normal lives’ that we forget to take even the smallest of times to refocus on ourselves and clear our minds.

Sometimes clients will say to me – I haven’t got time for that.

The standard answer is – If that’s the case you, can’t afford not too.

You see, the more stressed and busy we become, the more important it is that we give ourselves time to recharge.

Not only does this help us mentally and physically, but it also makes us better able to focus and be more productive when we have go back to doing our tasks.

The break you’re giving yourself doesn’t have to be a two week holiday in the Bahamas (though that does sound quite nice), it can just be taking a few minutes to relax or even a few seconds to really breathe and centre yourself. Using a form of meditation, mindfulness or self hypnosis will deepen the benefits of this, so use them whenever you need to.

Working on relaxation is just as important to most people as going to the gym should be – your body and mind work together. If you want to stay healthy it’s important to look after all aspects of yourself.

Wishing you a relaxing stress free Thursday

Ω

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Self Hypnosis – The Switch

Self Hypnosis Technique

Eye (2)

The Switch is one of my favourite Self Hypnosis techniques, but if you are just beginning to use self hypnosis you may want to try something else to begin with, like the Betty Erickson Technique or a progressive relaxation.


To begin with, decide what you want to achieve with this session – summarise your goal into one simple line e.g. I want to be more confident or I want to feel more relaxed. Try to avoid using dead men’s goals.

Now, make yourself nice and comfortable. I usually find that it is best to be sat in a comfy chair with my feet resting flat on the ground, but you can choose whatever feels right for you. Just make sure you are in a safe place and that you have enough time to complete the exercise.

Start by imagining that you have two kinds of wires that go into every nerve and fibre of your body.

One kind controls all of the automatic functions of your body, like your blood pressure & heart rate. Decide what colour this is.

The other connects to every single voluntary part of your body that you can control e.g. breathing, limbs, muscles and your speed of thought.  So, if you were to reduce power in that second bundle, your limbs, breathing and mind would instantly relax. Decide what colour this one is.

Now lift up the index finger of your left hand, and imagine under that index finger is a switch that will turn on or off that entire bundle of voluntary muscles and mental speed.  Right now that light switch is in the ON position.

Close your eyes & take a very deep breath and hold your breath for approx. 5 seconds.  To relax into self-hypnosis, simply imagine the coloured wires of your voluntary system going to that switch and when you breath out turn off that light switch by slowly dropping your finger.

As you do, slow your breathing, relax all your muscles and limbs and allow yourself to relax completely, as if all of the power had simply been turned down.

With the power down, focus on your goal. See yourself successfully doing your new goal. Hear all the sounds that are important to you and really feel what it will feel like. Multiply the positive feelings you will have of you achieving you goal / new habit – make them bigger, brighter and stronger until you feel absolutely brilliant.

To get maximum effect, repeat the above in different scenarios & situations and notice how you are different in the future to how you are now.

You might also notice all the little, achievable things that change to get you to your goal. See how easy they were to do and how amazing you feel when they are done.

When you’re ready to be your usual self, simply tell yourself that’s what you’re going to do. Take a deep breath in and as you do, lift your finger back up. Don’t be surprised if you feel the energy flooding back into your body when you flick the switch back to ON. By the time you breathe out, notice how you feel completely back to normal and positive, but bring with you the sense of achieving your goal and the knowledge of how to do this in the right way for you.


I hope you give this one a try. It can help you to do amazing things!

Let me know how you get on

Ω

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