New Year’s Day Rituals

Do you have any New Year’s day rituals?

Do you make New year’s resolutions?

Do you keep them?

For many people the past year has been a particularly rough one. 2020 has certainly bought some challenges. For some they have been financial, for some emotional. Lockdowns have challenged people to different degrees all around the world. Hundreds of thousands of people have died.

For this reason the rituals around New Year’s Day may seem more important than ever this year.

The main one for me is always about the resolutions. What can I aim for this year that will make my life better? In the past I have gone for things to change the way I look or to change my finances, but not this year. This year is all about a year of Self Care for me. I don’t mean the sort of self care that lets you enjoy a bubble bath with candles and whale music, I mean the real stuff.

Imagine you came with a care manual – like a car or a house plant. Nothing too complex, but with some simple instructions that will help you keep your self in top condition. You know the kind of thing..

Avoid direct exposure to sunlight without protection

Drink at least 3l of water a day

Needs regular exercise

Must be switched off for at least 8 hours in every 24

Do not allow toxins to enter

Only fuel with top grade material

Stretch regularly

Now this list might seem a bit basic, but be honest with yourself….are you following these guidelines? Are you getting enough sleep? Eating and exercising right? Properly taking care of yourself?

At it’s most fundamental level this is what self care is, and it’s what I’m going to be aiming for this year. Yes it may get more nuanced and elaborate as I get control of these basics, but this is my starting point.

So what does this mean for me right now? It means I’m cutting out caffeine, refined sugar, salt, most meat, processed food and refined carbs. It means I’ll be doing Yoga and workouts daily. It means I’ll be going to bed earlier.

I’ve discussed this with a few people and the reactions I got have really surprised me – people seem to think I’m going to be putting myself through hell! Let’s hope it’s not as bad they think and that the feedback my body gives me will support the changes.

Another ritual that took my fancy this year was one of letting the old year out. This year when I awoke, I opened all the windows and doors and swept through the house. it was freezing and a bit of an odd thing to do, but I really enjoyed the feeling it gave me. I started the year with a positive intention of letting go of last year and starting fresh.

Working on a similar theory, I then showered. I washed with the intention of washing away all the worries and concerns of the last year and starting with a clean slate. When I dried myself I covered myself in beautifully scented body lotion. As my hands moved over each part of my body I tried to be positive about my wobbly bits and give love to my scars and lumps. They are all part of me and I am blessed to have them ( even if they could do with a little more self care) and so am grateful. As well as setting me off on a clean and positive path, the scent from the lotion has been a reminder throughout the day that I am caring for this body that houses me.

Next came a walk in the woods. My little monster of a dog, Morrigan, likes to go out early. As a result we were well into our walk when the sun came up. Although it was a grey, overcast and frozen day, the change from darkness to light felt very symbolic and meaningful and is something I shall be reminded of each morning when we go for our stroll. It’s a daily reminder that the dawn always follows the dark and that everything has it’s time. Days roll on, then weeks, then months, then years. This too shall pass. It also reminded me of something that Captain Sir Tom Moore ( the amazing fundraiser of 2020 ) said…

‘Tomorrow will be a better day’

The hope (and expectation) of a brighter tomorrow is usually enough to keep us moving forward, even in the hardest of times.

These are my traditions. Feel free to adopt them if they feel like they work for you.

If you have any I would be fascinated to learn about them – drop me a line in the comments to let me know about them/

New Year, New Me?

Hello beautiful people! How’s your New Year going so far?

Have you set yourself a load of New Year’s resolutions or are you planning on staying exactly as you currently are? If you’re perfect already, why change?

Most of us haven’t quite achieved the ‘perfect’ status as yet and so may have some things that we are working on – getting fitter, slimmer, happier, richer, calmer, more motivated or maybe even just working on blogging more!

I’m a big fan of learning, growing and self improvement, but more importantly than all of that I’m an advocate of being kind to yourself.

I see lots of clients with various issues that they are looking to change. One of the most common factors that runs through all of them is a lack of self kindness. When I hear the words people use about themselves it horrifies me. I honestly believe that most people are bullies.

As a society, we generally frown on bullying. We dislike it when people use aggressive or hurtful language to each other. We cringe when people call other people names. We are against shaming people – and yet we seem to do it to ourselves all the time.

See if you can recognise any of these thoughts…

I’m not good enough

I hate myself

I’m so stupid

I’m fat and disgusting

I’m too thick to do that

I have no self control

I am so embarrasing

I’m useless

Now imagine saying that to someone you care about? Would you say any of this to someone you love?

You’re not good enough

I hate you

You’re so stupid

You’re fat and disgusting

You’re too thick to do that

You have no self control

You’re so embarrasing

You’re useless

Sounds pretty awful right? I know if someone spoke to me that way I wouldn’t want to hang out with them and I certainly wouldn’t call them motivational or helpful.

When I think about motivational work, I think about supportive, helpful language. Words that will encourage and lift the person hearing them. Things like…

You CAN do this

You can achieve anything you set your mind to

It’s a learning process, keep trying

Everyone has to start somewhere

You are in control

We all make mistakes, forget it and move on

I’m proud of the effort you are putting in

Look how far you’ve come

These things sound more like something I would say to a friend or someone I cared about. Think about how these words would make you feel compared to the earlier list.

For most of us, changing the way we speak to ourselves takes some practice. The chances are that we have been using bullying language for a long time, so it may take a concerted effort to change your internal dialogue – and that’s OK. It’s a learning process. Don’t give up, you are in control. If you even give this a go I will be so proud of you for trying to make a positive change – you CAN do this!

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Changing the way that you think and feel can sometimes be challenging when you are trying to do all the work yourself. If you need a helping hand, take one! There are plenty of people like me who are professional therapists who’s passion in life is to help people like you feel the way you want to. Hypnotherapy is a great tool to take some of the hard work out of these sort of changes.

 

 

January Diet Tips

In the UK, today is known as Blue Monday. Statistically it’s the most depressing day of the year. The weather is cold and the sky is grey. Everyone is broke from Christmas (and waiting for their January pay). All those new years resolutions (like dieting and getting fit) are feeling impossible. Or to put it another way, things are feeling a bit rubbish.

It’s also the day most people are likely to give up on those New Years resolutions. Instead of thinking about their healthy food choices, they are calling for take out, shopping for cake and drinking the sugary and often alcoholic drinks. Coincidence? I think not.

So how do you stay on track when all around you are running for the sweet stuff?

1. Remember why you started

When you told yourself that this was going to be the year that you got control of your diet, you meant it. Has anything changed? Have you suddenly decided that you want to be overweight? Probably not. So think about what you want to achieve, how you’re going to do it and feel the motivation. Why do you want to lose weight? Is it important to you? How will you feel when you reach your ideal weight?

2. Give yourself a treat (that’s not food/drink related)

When life is a bit tough, it’s only natural to want to make yourself feel better, but it doesn’t need to be related to food or drink. Pamper yourself. Get your hair cut, have a facial, get your nails done – whatever works for you. Then again maybe it’s a day out, booking a trip or getting tickets to an event. Possibly it’s just organising a catch up with friends or calling someone you like a chat with. There are millions of calorie free treats out there – find one that works for you.

3. Think about how you’ll feel tomorrow.

Lots of people with weight issues live in the past or the present, but rarely the future. Let me explain. When faced with a high calorie treat they are focussed only on the treat. About how they will feel when they are eating it and the few moments that follow. They rarely think about how they will feel tomorrow when they stand on the scales and the number has gone up. How they will feel in 2 months when they haven’t achieved the weight loss they were hoping for. When you want to indulge, use your imagination to project into the future and think how you will feel.

4. Be nice to yourself

Life can be hard sometimes and when it is we could all do with our own personal cheerleader to get us through the day. Someone who believes in us, someone who will help and motivate us, someone who cares about us. The great news is, you can do that for yourself. That little voice in your head can be a bully or a cheerleader – it’s up to you. If you have a natural bully, make the decision to not listen to that voice anymore and ask yourself what your inner cheerleader would say to you – listen to that voice instead.

5. Forgive yourself

If all else fails and you buckle to the sweet treat – forgive yourself. A moment of madness need not ruin your whole eating plan. Diets don’t work by the hour or the day or even the week. One bad moment shouldn’t ruin your day, One bad day shouldn’t affect the rest of the week. Forgive your little moment and get back on with making the choices that will make you feel great.

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If you’re having trouble getting your eating under control hypnosis is a great tool to help get your head into the right space to make the changes you want.

Blog Plans for 2017

Happy New Year!

Well, after a lovely Christmas break, I’m back to the blogosphere….How are you all doing?

Personally I love January, because I love new starts. They are full of opportunities, possibilities and potential. They also scare me a bit because of this – when everything is a possibility it can all be a bit overwhelming – there’s just too much to choose from, and in my humble opinion, you do have to choose. Anyone that tells you that this year is the one where they will eat healthy, exercise regularly, look amazing every day, make a million dollars, have the perfect relationship with their friends and family, start a new business and find inner peace is expecting a little bit much, don’t you think?

Even if all you’re planning on doing is growing your blog audience or blogging every day, it can still be a big expectation. There are so many things to blog about, but how to choose? Sometimes there is so much possibility I can’t narrow it down, sometimes I can’t think of a single thing. What to do?

For me it starts with a plan. Plans don’t have to be set in stone, they are a starting point. Write yourself a plan, but know that it can and probably will change.

The next thing I do is think about what I want to talk about – broadly speaking. As my blog here is all about happiness, health and hypnosis that needs to be at the fore of my planning – what large topics fall under that remit?

So this year I’ve decided to dedicate a month to a topic. I started last year. December was all about self care, and I wrote it like an advent calendar with a different post every day from 1 to 25. It worked quite well for me and those that follow my blog. It gave me structure and motivation to write (I’d promised after all) and it gave my followers a reason to check in – they knew what to expect. If it wasn’t something they were interested in they could take a pass, but if it was, they knew to come back every day for more.

In the same vein here are my ideas for Blogs I will be writing each month for 2017.

January – Diet

February – Relationships

March – Addictions

April – Happiness

May – Food

June – Anxiety

July – Exercise

August – Depression

Sept – Different therapy techniques

Oct – Dec TBD – I’m open to suggestions here, if you would like me to cover a topic that falls under the title of Happiness, Health and Hypnosis, this is your chance to put forward an idea! Just leave me a comment.

See anything there that you think you may be interested in – make sure you click follow to get them when they come out!

Once I’ve narrowed it down to topic areas, I find it easier to think about topics related to each big theme. Take diet for example. I can look at nutrition, staying satisfied, types of food that keep you feeling fuller for longer, diet myths, healthy goals, body image, small changes to make a big difference etc etc. So now we both know what to expect 🙂

Starting tomorrow the rest of my January blogs will be dedicated to diet. Getting right and making it easy. If you want to make sure you see them, you know what to do.

See you soon – let’s make January an awesome start!

 

Out with the Old and In with the New

So it’s that time of year again.

The time for New Years resolutions.

Also known as the ‘to do’ list for the first week of January.

The time of year when we decide to actually do all the stuff we said we would do last year but didn’t.

 

So what’s going to be different this year?

It has been said that the definition of insanity is to do the the same thing yet expect a different result, so what are you going to do differently?

 

Don’t just think of the end goals you want to achieve – think about the steps that will get you there. Imagine where you want to be in a years time? Put yourself in that situation as realistically as you can. How do you look? What can you see around you? What are the sights, sounds and smells that you notice? Now imagine a line from that future you to where you are now. Along that line there are significant points – mini goals. What actions have you done in order to achieve these mini goals? Can you see yourself doing them? If so then what you want is achievable – If you believe it, then you can achieve it. If you can’t, maybe the goal you are setting yourself isn’t realistic at the moment.

 

There are many professionals out there who can help you achieve the goals you have in mind – Life coaches, fitness instructors, diet group leaders, therapists (and my own particular favourite Hypnotherapists ) but remember you are the one who will have to do things differently. Change only happens when our desire to change is greater than our desire to keep doing the things we are doing now.

 

So think differently,

Get help,

Achieve your goals in 2014

and Have a Great New Year