New Year’s Day Rituals

Do you have any New Year’s day rituals?

Do you make New year’s resolutions?

Do you keep them?

For many people the past year has been a particularly rough one. 2020 has certainly bought some challenges. For some they have been financial, for some emotional. Lockdowns have challenged people to different degrees all around the world. Hundreds of thousands of people have died.

For this reason the rituals around New Year’s Day may seem more important than ever this year.

The main one for me is always about the resolutions. What can I aim for this year that will make my life better? In the past I have gone for things to change the way I look or to change my finances, but not this year. This year is all about a year of Self Care for me. I don’t mean the sort of self care that lets you enjoy a bubble bath with candles and whale music, I mean the real stuff.

Imagine you came with a care manual – like a car or a house plant. Nothing too complex, but with some simple instructions that will help you keep your self in top condition. You know the kind of thing..

Avoid direct exposure to sunlight without protection

Drink at least 3l of water a day

Needs regular exercise

Must be switched off for at least 8 hours in every 24

Do not allow toxins to enter

Only fuel with top grade material

Stretch regularly

Now this list might seem a bit basic, but be honest with yourself….are you following these guidelines? Are you getting enough sleep? Eating and exercising right? Properly taking care of yourself?

At it’s most fundamental level this is what self care is, and it’s what I’m going to be aiming for this year. Yes it may get more nuanced and elaborate as I get control of these basics, but this is my starting point.

So what does this mean for me right now? It means I’m cutting out caffeine, refined sugar, salt, most meat, processed food and refined carbs. It means I’ll be doing Yoga and workouts daily. It means I’ll be going to bed earlier.

I’ve discussed this with a few people and the reactions I got have really surprised me – people seem to think I’m going to be putting myself through hell! Let’s hope it’s not as bad they think and that the feedback my body gives me will support the changes.

Another ritual that took my fancy this year was one of letting the old year out. This year when I awoke, I opened all the windows and doors and swept through the house. it was freezing and a bit of an odd thing to do, but I really enjoyed the feeling it gave me. I started the year with a positive intention of letting go of last year and starting fresh.

Working on a similar theory, I then showered. I washed with the intention of washing away all the worries and concerns of the last year and starting with a clean slate. When I dried myself I covered myself in beautifully scented body lotion. As my hands moved over each part of my body I tried to be positive about my wobbly bits and give love to my scars and lumps. They are all part of me and I am blessed to have them ( even if they could do with a little more self care) and so am grateful. As well as setting me off on a clean and positive path, the scent from the lotion has been a reminder throughout the day that I am caring for this body that houses me.

Next came a walk in the woods. My little monster of a dog, Morrigan, likes to go out early. As a result we were well into our walk when the sun came up. Although it was a grey, overcast and frozen day, the change from darkness to light felt very symbolic and meaningful and is something I shall be reminded of each morning when we go for our stroll. It’s a daily reminder that the dawn always follows the dark and that everything has it’s time. Days roll on, then weeks, then months, then years. This too shall pass. It also reminded me of something that Captain Sir Tom Moore ( the amazing fundraiser of 2020 ) said…

‘Tomorrow will be a better day’

The hope (and expectation) of a brighter tomorrow is usually enough to keep us moving forward, even in the hardest of times.

These are my traditions. Feel free to adopt them if they feel like they work for you.

If you have any I would be fascinated to learn about them – drop me a line in the comments to let me know about them/

New Year, New Me?

Hello beautiful people! How’s your New Year going so far?

Have you set yourself a load of New Year’s resolutions or are you planning on staying exactly as you currently are? If you’re perfect already, why change?

Most of us haven’t quite achieved the ‘perfect’ status as yet and so may have some things that we are working on – getting fitter, slimmer, happier, richer, calmer, more motivated or maybe even just working on blogging more!

I’m a big fan of learning, growing and self improvement, but more importantly than all of that I’m an advocate of being kind to yourself.

I see lots of clients with various issues that they are looking to change. One of the most common factors that runs through all of them is a lack of self kindness. When I hear the words people use about themselves it horrifies me. I honestly believe that most people are bullies.

As a society, we generally frown on bullying. We dislike it when people use aggressive or hurtful language to each other. We cringe when people call other people names. We are against shaming people – and yet we seem to do it to ourselves all the time.

See if you can recognise any of these thoughts…

I’m not good enough

I hate myself

I’m so stupid

I’m fat and disgusting

I’m too thick to do that

I have no self control

I am so embarrasing

I’m useless

Now imagine saying that to someone you care about? Would you say any of this to someone you love?

You’re not good enough

I hate you

You’re so stupid

You’re fat and disgusting

You’re too thick to do that

You have no self control

You’re so embarrasing

You’re useless

Sounds pretty awful right? I know if someone spoke to me that way I wouldn’t want to hang out with them and I certainly wouldn’t call them motivational or helpful.

When I think about motivational work, I think about supportive, helpful language. Words that will encourage and lift the person hearing them. Things like…

You CAN do this

You can achieve anything you set your mind to

It’s a learning process, keep trying

Everyone has to start somewhere

You are in control

We all make mistakes, forget it and move on

I’m proud of the effort you are putting in

Look how far you’ve come

These things sound more like something I would say to a friend or someone I cared about. Think about how these words would make you feel compared to the earlier list.

For most of us, changing the way we speak to ourselves takes some practice. The chances are that we have been using bullying language for a long time, so it may take a concerted effort to change your internal dialogue – and that’s OK. It’s a learning process. Don’t give up, you are in control. If you even give this a go I will be so proud of you for trying to make a positive change – you CAN do this!

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Changing the way that you think and feel can sometimes be challenging when you are trying to do all the work yourself. If you need a helping hand, take one! There are plenty of people like me who are professional therapists who’s passion in life is to help people like you feel the way you want to. Hypnotherapy is a great tool to take some of the hard work out of these sort of changes.

 

 

Blog Plans for 2017

Happy New Year!

Well, after a lovely Christmas break, I’m back to the blogosphere….How are you all doing?

Personally I love January, because I love new starts. They are full of opportunities, possibilities and potential. They also scare me a bit because of this – when everything is a possibility it can all be a bit overwhelming – there’s just too much to choose from, and in my humble opinion, you do have to choose. Anyone that tells you that this year is the one where they will eat healthy, exercise regularly, look amazing every day, make a million dollars, have the perfect relationship with their friends and family, start a new business and find inner peace is expecting a little bit much, don’t you think?

Even if all you’re planning on doing is growing your blog audience or blogging every day, it can still be a big expectation. There are so many things to blog about, but how to choose? Sometimes there is so much possibility I can’t narrow it down, sometimes I can’t think of a single thing. What to do?

For me it starts with a plan. Plans don’t have to be set in stone, they are a starting point. Write yourself a plan, but know that it can and probably will change.

The next thing I do is think about what I want to talk about – broadly speaking. As my blog here is all about happiness, health and hypnosis that needs to be at the fore of my planning – what large topics fall under that remit?

So this year I’ve decided to dedicate a month to a topic. I started last year. December was all about self care, and I wrote it like an advent calendar with a different post every day from 1 to 25. It worked quite well for me and those that follow my blog. It gave me structure and motivation to write (I’d promised after all) and it gave my followers a reason to check in – they knew what to expect. If it wasn’t something they were interested in they could take a pass, but if it was, they knew to come back every day for more.

In the same vein here are my ideas for Blogs I will be writing each month for 2017.

January – Diet

February – Relationships

March – Addictions

April – Happiness

May – Food

June – Anxiety

July – Exercise

August – Depression

Sept – Different therapy techniques

Oct – Dec TBD – I’m open to suggestions here, if you would like me to cover a topic that falls under the title of Happiness, Health and Hypnosis, this is your chance to put forward an idea! Just leave me a comment.

See anything there that you think you may be interested in – make sure you click follow to get them when they come out!

Once I’ve narrowed it down to topic areas, I find it easier to think about topics related to each big theme. Take diet for example. I can look at nutrition, staying satisfied, types of food that keep you feeling fuller for longer, diet myths, healthy goals, body image, small changes to make a big difference etc etc. So now we both know what to expect 🙂

Starting tomorrow the rest of my January blogs will be dedicated to diet. Getting right and making it easy. If you want to make sure you see them, you know what to do.

See you soon – let’s make January an awesome start!

 

Word of the Month – Persistence

Persistence

Lets be honest – this is where most of us fall down.

We start off with good intentions, full of enthusiasm for what we are about to do, the mountains we’ll climb, the heights we will reach, the success we’ll achieve.

Then we start to get a bit bored.

It starts to seem like a bit too much work.

We forget what we wanted to achieve in the first place and start to think about what we want to do right at this particular moment.

Maybe a few obstacles have got in our way.

Maybe someone has said something that has demotivated us.

Maybe those mountains seem a bit too high right now.

You haven’t failed until you’ve stopped trying.

Persistence is King

It’s said that experts in a field have failed at it more times than most people have even tried.

Persistence

Mastering a skill – really mastering it – takes about 10,000 hours of practice.

Persistence

So, think back to the start of this year – what did you want to achieve?

Are you still on track?

If not, maybe it’s time to remember why you wanted to do it in the first place.

Pick yourself up, forgive yourself for not being as amazing as you had hoped you would be and get back on it.

Persistence

The Blogging Habit

Most of the people reading this will be bloggers.

There are many reasons for people to blog. Some want to shout into empty space, some want to unload to a place where no one knows who they are, some just want to share their stories, but most of us want followers.

So why do we want followers?

For some people it may be affirmation that what they are saying is interesting. For others it may be a boost to their egos. Others are using their blog to promote or sell something. Some may be trying to launch a writing career. What ever your personal reason to blog, if you want followers then you have to get into the habit of blogging regularly.

I know. I started this blog about 18 months ago and I had this silly idea that if I blogged once a month or so, somehow, people would magically find me and my stuff and would all want to know what was coming next. Some did, and for that I am genuinely grateful, but numbers were low. In retrospect, that wasn’t really very surprising. Firstly, there just wasn’t enough material there for people to get what they needed from my blog. Secondly, how were they supposed to know it was there?

In August last year I set myself a little blogging challenge. I decided that I was going to blog every day for 90 days. I didn’t have a goal for how may new followers or likes I wanted. I just knew I wanted to start a new blogging habit of writing EVERY DAY.

To start with it was relatively easy. I was full of enthusiasm and ideas that came pouring out. About 3 weeks in it started to get a little harder. I struggled to think what I would write about, I was worried about repeating myself, I started to make excuses for why I shouldn’t complete my 90 days.

Then I made a plan.

I wrote down a little blogging plan. I thought about topics that I could add to each week. I thought about big ideas that could run and run. I thought about fun things that I liked writing about. All of a sudden I had mapped out the next couple of months topics and I was back to feeling excited about it.

I’m not saying I always stuck to the plan. Sometimes a new and exciting idea would come along or maybe something would happen in the news that inspired me, but I always had something to write about.

Before I knew it my 90 days were up, and do you know what I did to celebrate this milestone? I blogged about it!

Blogging had become my new habit and I enjoyed it.

This works for blogging, but it also works for any other thing you might be wanting to change in your life. What we do is generally a matter of habit. So whether you are trying to make new habits or change old ones, make a plan, make it achievable and get on with it. Before you now it, it will just be something you do.

Then you get to reap the rewards.

If your habits change your body you’ll see it, If they change your mind, you’ll feel it, and if they change your wealth you’ll notice it.

What habits do you want to make or break that will leave you feeling better for 2015?

Here are some ideas.

Diet – eat 7 portions of fresh fruit and vegetables a day

Exercise – 30 minutes a day

Meditation – meditate daily

Blogging – blog daily

Business – build your online profile

Relationships – speak to at least one friend a day

Partner – compliment your partner at least once a day

Mindfulness – practice being in the moment daily

Hobby – spend some time each week doing something you enjoy

Experiences – try something new every week

Learning – learn a new skill

Little changes make large differences – where do you want to be in 2016? What are you doing to get there?

Word of the month

My word of the month for January is …

Habit

January is a time when a lot of people are trying to make new habits or break old ones. It’s that New Year, New Me stuff.

We are fast approaching the time when most New years resolutions fall by the wayside.

According to studies most people give up on their resolution by the 22nd of January. If you’re still going for it, well done, but if you’ve already let old habits slip back in, don’t feel to bad about it – these things happen.

In some ways I was surprised to find that the resolutions were broken after 3 weeks. We are often told that it takes between 2 and 3 weeks to make a break a habit, which would suggest that by the 22nd we should have that habit firmly established. So, what get’s in our way?

I think part of the problem is that we still have the habit of thinking about whatever it is we are trying to change.

Whether you are trying to diet or exercise, study more or worry less you eill find yourself thinking about ‘how it used to be’. This is a habit you are creating too.

What can you do about this?

The main thing you can do is notice that you are doing it. When you notice these thoughts popping into your head, think about what you are saying to yourself. Are you saying things like ‘I’d rather be doing…’ or ‘I’m missing out on…..’ or ‘I’d normally be eating….’ All of these are really tempting difficult thought patterns for you to deal with.

Imagine being on a diet and you have a best friend who was constantly with you. Every time you get hungry they say ‘some cake would be lovely around now’ or ‘that salad is rubbish compared to the takeaway we normally have on a Friday’ or ‘wouldn’t you rather have a biscuit?’

That would be really hard to deal with, and you’d probably fall of the wagon.

Now imagine that best friend was really supporting you. Instead of all that unhelpful talk they were saying things like ‘You are looking and feeling better every day’ or ‘That healthy choice you’ve made for dinner is helping you to get into those jeans you want’ or ‘I’m so proud of you sticking to your diet, even when it’s tricky’.

That friend is going to help you to achieve your goals.

Make a new habit to be your own best friend and think about what you are saying to yourself. Support yourself as you would a true friend and you’ll be surprised what you can do.

Sometimes it can be difficult to deal with negative thought patterns and this is where therapy and in particular CBT and Hypnotherapy can be very useful. With CBT you work on changing the negative thought patterns into positive ones by completing exercises to challenge your thoughts. With Hypnotherapy we use access to the subconscious to change these thought patterns in an easy way. There’s no reason not to get help with these things if you find them too difficult to do on your own. You used an instructor to teach you how to drive, why not use one to help you think in a productive, fulfilling way?

Time to try something new?

My Happy Jar

This is the latest post about my Happy Jar.

It’s a way to look back on things and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month.

A lovely Christmas with my Partner and his Dad.

Seeing the nieces opening up their presents.

Frosty mornings when everything is painted white.

The smell of fresh paint.

Clean white walls – I’m decorating!

Chocolate Yule log.

Mulled cider.

The smell of pine needles and oranges and cinnamon.

Chatting to my Mum.

Christmas cards from people you haven’t seen for an age.

The pop of a champagne bottle.(I put the cork in the jar for this one!)

Getting my organic veggie box this morning.

Teaching a 4 year old how to draw farm animals.

Coming in from a cold walk with the dog and snuggling up on the sofa.

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

Make it happen

2014 – It’s been a good year!

If you had to grade your year, what would it get?

I’ve been pretty pleased with 2014.

My health has been good (slight issue with plantar fasciitis, but nothing in the grand scheme of things)

My blog has grown considerably – Thank you guys – your support is amazing and I love you all.

My business turnover has doubled (not a big ask considering where it started from, but I’m still very pleased)

My partner and I have spent some great time with each other (including a fantastic meal or 5 along the way)

Our dog is getting old, but we have been lucky enough to enjoy her for another year.

I have learned new things (creating websites, seo, hypnotic language patterns, marketing strategies, working with Parkinson’s Disease and much much more)

I have overcome obstacles.

I’ve held parties.

I’ve laughed with friends.

I’ve eaten more than is good for me 😦 but really enjoyed it 🙂

I want to have a great year in 2015 too.

I want to set goals so that I have things to achieve, but I also don’t want to set too many expectations as part of the joy of living is going where the wind takes you…so here goes

1. I want to improve my fitness – maybe start pilates.

2. I want to double my turnover for the business again.

3. I want to have over 1000 followers on my blog.

4. I want to enjoy spending time with my partner, my dog and my friends.

5. I want to learn a new skill that will help someone else.

6. I want to change one thing each month that will improve mine or someone else’s life.

I’d love to know how your year has been and what plans you have for next year – and if I can help in any way – let me know!

Thank you 2014, you’ve been great.