Tag Archives: nerves

How to feel more confident

how to feel more confident hypnosis

Confidence is a bit like air.

When you have it you tend not to think about it, when you don’t it can feel awful.

Social anxiety, performance anxiety and generalised anxiety can all be debilitating, reducing sufferers to people afraid to leave their own homes and with serious esteem issues.

The good news is that it can be overcome.

It takes work, and it’s not always easy, but you can do it.

My advice would be to get professional help – counsellors and therapists can work wonders in this area.

If you’re not ready to take that step, or think you can manage it yourself there are some things that you can do to move forward.

How to feel more confident.

1. Challenge your beliefs.

If you you believe that everyone at the party will hate you – challenge that.

Firstly, it’s very likely that most people at the party will barely notice you. Most of the time we are so wrapped up in our own thoughts and lives that we barely notice what anyone else is doing, wearing or thinking.

Secondly, it’s very unlikely that EVERYONE will have a bad opinion of you, whatever you do. Even serial killers get fan mail. Surely you’re not that bad!

Thirdly, I doubt very much anyone will HATE you. Hating takes a lot of energy. Think about it – do you HATE anyone? If so, were they someone you randomly met at a party?

2. Ask yourself – so what?

If you believe that you will not be very good at something, ask yourself, so what?

What if you’re not very good at it? What will it matter?

Maybe people won’t clap – so what? What if they don’t? Will you die? Will anyone else die? Will it cause you pain?

Maybe they won’t / will laugh (depending on whether or not you’re trying to be funny) – so what?

Maybe they won’t book you to do another gig?

Maybe people will talk about you for a bit?

So what? It really doesn’t matter.

3. Remind yourself that it’s OK not to be perfect.

Nobody is perfect. Let me say that again – Nobody is perfect. We all make mistakes, we all get awkward sometimes, we all drop things, we all get nervous, we all say the wrong things sometimes – and that’s OK.

You are not perfect, and that’s OK.

4. The chances are that the person you are standing next to is feeling anxious too.

Have you ever been in a room, where nobody is talking and you are waiting for someone to make the first move and say something. Guess what, everyone else is waiting for the same thing.

Take the bull by the horns and say something. The relief on the other persons face will let you know that they were feeling the same way and that you have just shown yourself to be the most confident one there!

Check you out!

5. Work out whether you are feeling excited or nervous.

Sometimes when we are waiting for something we start to feel physically different. Maybe our heart starts beating a bit faster, our breathing becomes a bit more rapid, our palms may get a bit sweaty and our mouth goes dry…Am I describing feeling nervous or excited? They’re both pretty much the same, so how do you know you’re not just feeling excited?

Whether you decide to take these steps yourself or get someone to help you to feel more confident, I wish you and yours a happy, confident, fulfilling party season and a fantastic new year.

Go get ’em tiger!

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How to Nail your next Job Interview

It’s Monday – If you have that sinking feeling on a Monday morning, maybe you’re in the wrong job.

As Ricky Gervais said ‘Remember, Mondays are fine. It’s your life that sucks’

In order to get the job of your dreams, you are going to have to get through the interview.

Here’s how.

Research the job

Before you go anywhere near the interview it’s important that you know what you’re interviewing for. Find out about the job. If it’s a customer facing position, go and be the customer and ask the staff what it is they like and don’t like about the job. Find out what the job entails – for every bit of it you are aware of there are probably bit’s that you had never thought of.

Find out about the company. What makes them special. They are the things you are going to want to demonstrate about yourself at the interview. If the company is green, think green. If it’s community based, think community.

Dress to impress

(because nobody gets a job wearing flip flops)

Know what you are going to wear to the interview. It doesn’t always have to be a suit – that depends on the job – but most potential employers are going to want to know that you have made an effort. That goes for your general appearance as well as your clothes. Make sure your are clean and smart. Clean hair and nails, appropriate make up and jewellery and subtle perfume or aftershave. What ever you decide to wear to the interview it needs to be clean – that includes footwear, so get the polish out.

Turn up 5 minutes before you are expected

At the very least you turn up on time, but it is always better to be a little early. Yes you might have to hang around for a bit if things are overrunning, but that’s just how it goes. Nobody is impressed by lateness. It is always a good idea to know exactly where you are going and do a practice run a day or two before. If a disaster happens and you are going to be late, make sure that you have the contact details of the person you are meeting and call to let them know what has happened. Apologise and ask them if it would be possible to reschedule.

The Interview – present the best you

Be calm and be confident.

Be calm, not laid back. Calmness shows in your voice and your body language. Think about what somebody who is calm looks like. Now imagine them nervous. You need to be copying the calm body language. No fidgeting, no biting of nails, no playing with your clothes or hair. Hands in your lap, shoulders relaxed and looking interested.

Be confident, not cocky or arrogant. The person who is interviewing you wants to find somebody to fill this position. Confidence will prove to them that you are the person for the job. They are also going to have to work with the person they hire, so they are going to want to like them. Arrogance is not likeable.

It is important to be yourself in the interview. There is a thing know as discordance that makes us feel uncomfortable around people who are not being genuine. It’s subtle, but we tend to pick up on it. So be yourself – but be the best version of yourself. It’s worth looking up classic interview questions on line and preparing some answers for the more tricky ones, but again, keep it real. If the question is ‘what are your weaknesses?’ the interviewer doesn’t want to hear ‘I work too hard and need to be perfect at everything!’ something like ‘maths isn’t my strong suit, but I’ve done some work to improve it’ would be better.

If you are prone to nerves or lack of confidence it is worth doing some work on this prior to the interview. There are several self hypnosis techniques you could use like the Betty Erickson technique or The Switch which can be used, but if you are having real trouble I would encourage you to seek professional help Рit could be the difference you need to make Mondays a joy for the rest of your life.

Ask Questions

Ask good questions. Don’t ask ‘how soon can I take holiday?’ or ‘Do I get sick pay straight away?’

Ask about career progression. Ask about volunteer work the company is involved with. Ask about charities they support. Ask about things that show you are interested in working for these people for a long time!

It’s as easy as that.

If you can’t decide what your dream job is just ask yourself the following question

‘If money was no object, what would I do for the rest of my life?’

What are you waiting for?

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