What is Hypnosis?

I have been a practising hypnotist for over 5 years now, and I really struggle to answer this very basic question.

What is Hypnosis? 

It’s difficult to answer because there are so many answers and so many different experiences of hypnosis. As far as I can tell, everyone seems to experience it in different ways. For some (around about 1-2%) it feels really uncomfortable and they struggle to find a way in. For others (10-20%) it’s a magical experience that alters their reality in easily accessible ways – these are the people who are chosen for stage hypnotist shows where they make things invisible etc. For the vast majority of people it is neither of those things. Instead they will tell me “It was like I was listening to you speak, and I heard what you were saying, but it felt like my mind drifted and it was like I was fading in and out.”

If you ask ‘experts’ on hypnosis you will get lots of different opinions and views too. Some believe it is a state of mind that we drift into and out of all the time. Some believe that it is a way of accessing your true self. Some believe it allows you to reach back into past lives. You will hear words like conscious and subconscious as though they are areas of the brain that can be poked and prodded. People talk of somnambulist (or sleep walkers) and ‘depths’ of hypnosis as though you can be a bit hypnotised or really hypnotised.

At one time I described it as a directed placebo effect as I believed that you had to ‘buy into’ the process for it to work, but over the years I have learned that this isn’t true either.

Let me tell you my truth about hypnosis – it’s just your imagination.

Now, please don’t read the word ‘just’ and think I am not giving your imagination the credit it deserves. Your imagination is probably the most amazing thing about you. It allows you to formulate plans, predict the future, extrapolate ideas, and create stories. It allows you to interpret sound, sight, smell and touch – to understand and empathise. It is essentially you.

The skill of the hypnotist comes into play to allow you to use your imagination in a useful, productive and often amazing way.

Take a look at most Hypnotherapist’s websites and you will find a list of the most common things they deal with..

Addiction (including smoking)

Weight Loss

Phobias

Anxiety and stress management.

What do all of these things have in common? They are created from belief patterns.

I can’t live without…. or I can’t stop thinking about….or I can’t be around…..or I can’t cope with….

Actually none of those statements are true.

You absolutely can live without whatever it is you are hooked on (as long as it’s not food, water, air etc) by changing how you think about it.

You can totally stop thinking of anything.

You can be around something you have a phobia of, as long as you change your fear response (which was created by your imagination in the first place).

You can cope – you just need to learn how.

A skilled hypnotist can provide you with enough input to help you to make a change, but it is a collaborative process. It happens because you want it to. In fact, if you have the skills and knowledge you don’t need another person to be involved at all. Many, many people around the world employ self hypnosis techniques like the Betty Erickson technique, the eye fixation technique or the switch technique – so it’s not something that has to be done to you. You can hypnotise yourself.

So, what is hypnosis? I’m still not entirely sure, but for me it is focused, beneficial use of your imagination to achieve a desired outcome.

Why don’t you have a try for yourself and see what happens? Maybe you’ll get the results you’re looking for. Maybe you won’t. If you do – Fantastic! I’m thrilled you’ve found this potential within yourself. If you don’t – why not give your friendly, local hypnotherapist a call and see if they can nudge you in the right direction.

 

 

 

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a term that is being used a lot at the moment, but do you know what it’s actually all about?

What is Mindfulness?

Mindfulness started out as a practise in India about 2500 years ago. It was created as a type of mediation that allowed the practitioner to be present in the moment and to notice what was happening in their own mind. To notice their thoughts, feelings and emotions and give themselves the time and space to look at them, hear them and to react to them in a non judgemental, balanced way.

There is a direct correlation between our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Think about this for a moment..

You wake up in a great mood. ‘Today is going to be a good day’ you think to yourself. You get up, go through your morning routine and leave the house. When you get to work you see a parking space and get ready to move into it. Just as you are about to take the space someone else grabs it. How do you feel? What do you do?

Now, go through the same scenario but with you waking up in a terrible mood, convinced that today is going to be a nightmare. Now how do you feel? What do you do?

Did you get the same response each time? If you’re being honest with yourself, probably not. Yet both of the situations were identical apart from the first thoughts and emotions you were feeling. See how they can influence things?

One very effective form of therapy is CBT or cognitive behavioural therapy. It uses the same principles of analytically looking at our own thoughts and deciding if they are appropriate or not and then adjusting them accordingly. For instance if someone was suffering from OCD they may have a thought or belief pattern that makes them believe that if they do not carry out a certain action or set of actions then bad things will happen. Using mindfulness and or CBT techniques, they would learn to be able to notice these thoughts and to consider them in a balanced non judgemental way. With practice this can change and alter them into healthier patterns, which in turn, changes their behaviours.

Mindfulness is more than just this though. It is the ability to be in the moment. To fully appreciate what you are experiencing.

How many times have you not enjoyed something because you were worried about something else? Lost yourself in your fears that were totally unnecessary? Many of the clients I see as a Hypnotherapist suffer from social anxiety. This can be crippling and stop people enjoying their life, yet it doesn’t have to be the case. Simply learning and practicing mindfulness can eliminate it entirely.

In some ways Mindfulness is like a work out for your mind. It strengthens it, makes it more flexible and more able to handle things if and when they get tough. It’s like exercise in another way as well – it takes training and practice to get good at it. In this way your mind is like a muscle. You need to exercise it, to make it stronger before you have to do the heavy lifting or the marathon. You start small, get frustrated, keep at it and get better.

So, next time you think about a bit of self-care or self-improvement, you might want to consider getting yourself on a mindfulness course. Start small, practice and get stronger so that you are mentally as well as physically ready for anything life throws at you, and if someone asks you what is mindfulness, you’ll be able to tell them.

 

 

 

 

New Year, New Me?

Hello beautiful people! How’s your New Year going so far?

Have you set yourself a load of New Year’s resolutions or are you planning on staying exactly as you currently are? If you’re perfect already, why change?

Most of us haven’t quite achieved the ‘perfect’ status as yet and so may have some things that we are working on – getting fitter, slimmer, happier, richer, calmer, more motivated or maybe even just working on blogging more!

I’m a big fan of learning, growing and self improvement, but more importantly than all of that I’m an advocate of being kind to yourself.

I see lots of clients with various issues that they are looking to change. One of the most common factors that runs through all of them is a lack of self kindness. When I hear the words people use about themselves it horrifies me. I honestly believe that most people are bullies.

As a society, we generally frown on bullying. We dislike it when people use aggressive or hurtful language to each other. We cringe when people call other people names. We are against shaming people – and yet we seem to do it to ourselves all the time.

See if you can recognise any of these thoughts…

I’m not good enough

I hate myself

I’m so stupid

I’m fat and disgusting

I’m too thick to do that

I have no self control

I am so embarrasing

I’m useless

Now imagine saying that to someone you care about? Would you say any of this to someone you love?

You’re not good enough

I hate you

You’re so stupid

You’re fat and disgusting

You’re too thick to do that

You have no self control

You’re so embarrasing

You’re useless

Sounds pretty awful right? I know if someone spoke to me that way I wouldn’t want to hang out with them and I certainly wouldn’t call them motivational or helpful.

When I think about motivational work, I think about supportive, helpful language. Words that will encourage and lift the person hearing them. Things like…

You CAN do this

You can achieve anything you set your mind to

It’s a learning process, keep trying

Everyone has to start somewhere

You are in control

We all make mistakes, forget it and move on

I’m proud of the effort you are putting in

Look how far you’ve come

These things sound more like something I would say to a friend or someone I cared about. Think about how these words would make you feel compared to the earlier list.

For most of us, changing the way we speak to ourselves takes some practice. The chances are that we have been using bullying language for a long time, so it may take a concerted effort to change your internal dialogue – and that’s OK. It’s a learning process. Don’t give up, you are in control. If you even give this a go I will be so proud of you for trying to make a positive change – you CAN do this!

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Changing the way that you think and feel can sometimes be challenging when you are trying to do all the work yourself. If you need a helping hand, take one! There are plenty of people like me who are professional therapists who’s passion in life is to help people like you feel the way you want to. Hypnotherapy is a great tool to take some of the hard work out of these sort of changes.

 

 

Self Care Advent Calendar Day 19

With only six days until the 25th are you feeling festive?

Are sleigh bells ringing in your ears? Is it beginning to sound a lot like Christmas?

All of our senses can take a bit of a pounding during the festive season, and our hearing is not immune to the excesses of party time. So my self care thoughts for today are based around your ears.

If things have been kind of hectic, give yourself some space without noise. Take a walk somewhere quiet and don’t put headphones on – just listen to what’s around you.

Or if that’s not an option for you maybe you could sit quietly at home, maybe playing a little classical music – something soothing like a piano concerto…

Then again, maybe things have been a little too quiet for you – maybe you need to play some Christmas albums and have a good old song along. Or, maybe go caroling?

Or maybe the spirit of Christmas has already overloaded your senses and you need to take a break from it with some crazy jazz, some banging metal, some turbo dance – what ever floats your musical boat. Just enjoy a little bit of whatever you need.

What works for one person will not always work for someone else. So if you feel frazzled by what other people seem to be enjoying, don’t worry. You’re just in a different head space than them right now, and that’s OK – you do what’s right for you.

 

 

 

Self Care Advent Calendar Day 1

Yay – It’s December! Day 1 of the advent calendar. I’ve seen many different advent calendars being sold this year. Some have nothing but pictures in, others have chocolates or toys and some more grown up ones have perfume, make-up or alcohol. All of these sound fun, but I wanted to create something which might be more useful – and FREE!

As my little Christmas gift to you I’m creating a self care advent calendar. Each day I will write a post suggesting ways that you can look after yourself. If you think that sounds a little selfish – self care – then you don’t completely understand the concept. Self care is important for those around you as well as for yourself. ‘You can’t pour from an empty vessel’ so you need to make sure you’re in good shape to help those who need you. Also, anyone who loves you will be happier knowing you are happier, so it’s good for everyone.

So what constitutes self care? It’s a broad range of activities. Sometimes self care is eating healthily, sometimes it’s having a slice of cake. Sometimes self care is a walk in the fresh air, sometimes it’s snuggling up on the sofa with a good book. Sometimes self care is being around people, sometimes it’s being alone.

Today lets start with the basics. Get up, get clean and get dressed. If you’re in a good place, that’s easy. If you’re not, it can be more difficult.

Today is the first – the start of a new month. Maybe it could be the start of something new for you? A new routine, a new way of doing your hair, a new outfit combo, whatever works for you.

If you’re in a good place – change things up. If you’re in not such a good place, get up, get clean and get dressed. If you have nowhere to go, no-one to see and nothing planned it’s all too easy to not worry about the basics. What’s the point of getting up? What’s the point of showering? What’s the point of getting dressed? The point is, it will make you feel better. Maybe a lot better, maybe just a little. Still better. Self care can be a a path travelled in baby steps. Small Challenges. Things you CAN achieve.

A strange part of out psychology is that when we achieve something – big or small – it helps us to go on to achieve other things. People often say if you want something doing, give it to someone who’s busy. Although on the surface that makes no sense (surely you would give it to the person with less to do, so that they have time to do it) but the reality is, people who get stuff done, get stuff done!

So today, be someone who gets stuff done. It’s a great way to start the month, who know’s what you’ll be able to achieve by the end of it….

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If you struggle with getting started with things, you are not alone. But don’t think that you can’t change it – you can. If you struggle to do that on your own, there are plenty of people out there ready and willing to help. Look for a good therapist and get the help you need.

The process of learning – going from I can’t to I can

So, I’m trying to learn a new skill.

Have you ever seen the film Labyrinth with David Bowie?

Did you see the bit where the crystal balls are moved around as though they were made of air and free from gravity?

Well that’s what I’m trying to learn to do.

It’s really hard.

But then almost everything is when you can’t do it – it only becomes easy, or relatively easy, when you can do it.

So that’s what I’m trying to do – go from I can’t to I can.

Now, I know that this process may take months.

I may lose my desire to achieve it before I ever master it.

I may decide that’s it’s just too difficult for me (I don’t have the best hand eye coordination).

I may get bored or super frustrated with my inability.

But then again – maybe I won’t.

Right now I can’t do it – I can barely balance the ball on the back of my hand.

Soon I will get better at that. Then I can move onto the next step.

Lots of little steps to get good at…then one day I will be able to do it.

I’ll have gone from I can’t to I can.

Next time you tell yourself you can’t do something ask yourself some questions…

…What to I need to do in order to be able to do it?

What steps must I learn along the way?

Is there some resource I could use to help me?

What support could I have?

If you get these things right there is almost nothing that you can’t do …. eventually.

Here’s a taster of what I’m working towards…

Confused? You will be!

Have you ever been frustrated and unhappy because you were confused?

It can be really difficult when you don’t understand something, whether it’s Maths homework, someone’s behaviours, why your computer isn’t working or something completely different.

If you give up at this point, then all you have is your confusion.

The way to work through this is to learn. Learn about whatever it is that’s confusing you. Sometimes this will take time and thought to achieve, sometimes it will take lessons, sometimes it may just take a good nights rest – it’s amazing how often sleeping on a subject brings clarity.

Your subconscious can do a lot of processing for you whilst you sleep. Dreams are your brains way of ordering and reordering information, tidying the filing cabinet that’s in your head. If you are confused about something or someone, try not to make any decisions until you have had time to work through it a little. It can be impossible to take some things back, so make sure you give it time before you react.

Lastly it’s worth mentioning that it’s OK to be confused. My Hypnosis teacher once told me that from the greatest confusion comes the greatest understanding. I think he was right about that. If you think you understand something straight away then you tend not to examine it and  look at it in different ways. When you are confused by something you tend to analyse it and look at it from lots of different angles before you make sense of it.

That’s how you truly understand.

Embrace the confusion, learn and enjoy the understanding.