Tag Archives: happy jar

Being Selfish

Let me start off by saying – I love what I do.

I’m a Hypnotherapist and every time I help a client to get past some issue or another it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

I love it so much when I get emails from them telling me how they are getting on now that their stumbling block is gone.

But just like with everything else in life – sometimes I need a break from it.

That’s what I’m doing this week.

Instead of concentrating on clients, I’m focussing on me.

I’m getting my diet back to where it should be.

I’m exercising every day.

I’m working on what I want from life and how to get it.

I’m being genuinely selfish – and I think it’s a good thing.

We all know people who are tired martyrs. They go through life doing everything for everyone else and very little for themselves. I quite often get to see these people when they have had enough – when they’ve burned themselves out. They come to me as anxious, nervous people who feel that everyone is taking advantage of them and that no-one appreciates them. Their stress levels are frequently through the roof and their self esteem can be very low. They often externalize their self esteem, so that they only feel good if other people are telling them how wonderful they are. The problem is that after a while you stop appreciating people who are ALWAYS doing things for you and you come to expect it from them. In fact you can go so far as to be upset with them if they stop for some reason, even if that reason is sickness or exhaustion.

The first thing I try to establish with these clients is a sense of self worth – not what others appreciate – but what they do. Once you have a genuine sense of self worth, you can start to be nicer to yourself and as a consequence, are sometimes nicer to those around you. This can be easier said than done, but hypnosis is a wonderful tool.

The next thing that comes from being nicer to yourself is making space in your life to take care of yourself. At its essence this is being selfish – and yes – I still think that’s a good thing. Thinking of yourself is important. Taking care of yourself is important. Being selfish is important.

As with almost everything in life, it’s about balance.

People who spend too much time just thinking of themselves can be even more self-destructive than those who never do.

So how much Selfish is good?

Honestly – that depends on you. It depends on those around you. It depends on what you are trying to achieve.

My challenge to you today is to ask yourself 3 questions….

‘Am I being selfish enough?’

‘Am I being too selfish?’

and finally ‘What am I going to do about it?’

Wishing you all balance and harmony, go and have a great day 🙂

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Filed under coaching, Development, Dieting, Exercise, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, meditation, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Peace, poetry, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Self Hypnosis, Stress, support

My Happy Jar

My Happy Jar

This is the latest post about my Happy Jar. It’s been a little while since I posted an update on this, but don’t worry there’s still plenty going in the jar 🙂

The Happy Jar is a way to look back and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month.

A pink sunrise (yes I know, red sky in the morning – shepherds warning, but it’s still pretty)

Catching up with old friends at a house warming

Seeing friends happy – on a new journey, full of excitement and anticipation.

Fresh Blueberries in my porridge for breakfast.

A gift to myself being delivered.

The smell of freshly cut grass after it has rained.

Seeing my old dog act like a puppy when she finds a new walk.

Listening to an album I haven’t played in years (and still remembering the words).

Sprouting seeds.

Finding an old friend on social media.

Getting my nerd on with a friend.

Finding out that some amazing shoes I want actually come in my size (I’m 6ft tall and have size 9 feet)

Getting great feedback from a post

Getting caught in the rain and running for cover (then getting home and dry!)

Rediscovering a joy in drawing.

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

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Filed under Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, Exercise, experiment, Good News, Happy, Health, inspiration, lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Stress, Worrying

My Happy Jar

My Happy Jar

This is the latest post about my Happy Jar.

It’s a way to look back on things and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month.

A lovely Christmas with my Partner and his Dad.

Seeing the nieces opening up their presents.

Frosty mornings when everything is painted white.

The smell of fresh paint.

Clean white walls – I’m decorating!

Chocolate Yule log.

Mulled cider.

The smell of pine needles and oranges and cinnamon.

Chatting to my Mum.

Christmas cards from people you haven’t seen for an age.

The pop of a champagne bottle.(I put the cork in the jar for this one!)

Getting my organic veggie box this morning.

Teaching a 4 year old how to draw farm animals.

Coming in from a cold walk with the dog and snuggling up on the sofa.

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

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Filed under coaching, depression, Development, experiment, fun, Good News, Happy, Health, humour, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Stress, Worrying

My Happy Jar

happy-jar

This is the latest post about my Happy Jar.

It’s a way to look back on things and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month

Having a drink that I used to drink as a kid

Seeing a guy dressed as a vampire waiting at a bus stop

The smell of pine needles

Partying with friends

Making someone smile when they are in a bad mood

Achieving my blog a day for 90 days goal

Eating left over Halloween treats

A new note book full of clean empty pages

Getting great feedback from a client

Being at a fancy dress party where everyone has made an effort to have really great outfits

A dog running up to greet you, wagging it’s tail

The sparkle of fireworks in a dark sky

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

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Filed under Blogging, coaching, Development, Good News, Happy, Health, inspiration, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Stress, Worrying

My Happy Jar

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This is the latest post about my Happy Jar.

It’s a way to look back on things and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month

Making Tea in a Teapot with loose leaf tea

An unexpectedly warm morning in Autumn

The fragrance of a new candle

Reconnecting with an old friend

A cuddle when you’re feeling sad

Having a post reblogged

Chocolate cake (warmed up with a little bit of ice cream)

The smell of a book

The sound of silence

Helping out a neighbour

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

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Filed under Blogging, Food, Happy, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Psychology, Self Help

My Happy Jar

My Happy Jar

In August I wrote a post about my Happy Jar.

It’s a way to look back on things and remember all the little things that make us happy.

The idea came from a nice story I once heard about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month

Drinking a cup of coffee that’s at the perfect temperature

Watching the rain run down the windows

The feel and smell of laundry straight from the dryer

Chatting with a friend

An unexpected flower popping up in the garden

Puppies (and their ridiculous cuteness)

Seeing my friends pride over their children’s first day of school

Reading a touching poem (Robert Frost – Stopping by the woods on a snowy evening)

Finding a new band that you like

Winning a competition

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What will you put in your happy jar this month?

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Filed under Happy, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help

My Happy Jar

Sometimes it’s easy to look back on things and forget all the little things that make us happy.

I heard a nice story once about a woman who had a jar. Every time she thought of something that made her happy, she would jot it down on a piece of paper and put it in the jar. Whenever she felt down, or fed up, she would go to her jar and find all the things that made her happy. Some things were big things, events that happened that she could look back on and smile, but most were little things that she could cherish and maybe even recreate to make her feel better.

So here are a few things from my Happy Jar this month

Orange Ice pops on a hot day

Comfy shoes that you can walk in for miles and miles

Crisp clean sheets

Ripe Strawberries

A waft of scent from the flowers in someone’s garden

A dogs trust

The complete openness of children

How it feels to write with a good pen

Getting the next book in a series you’ve been reading for a long time and feeling as though you’re catching up with a good friend

I know none of these things are amazing, there is nothing earth shattering about them, but all of them have made me smile and brought a least a little joy to my soul.

What would you put in your happy jar today?

4 Comments

Filed under Happy, Peace, Positivity