Tag Archives: growth
Let me start off by saying – I love what I do.
I’m a Hypnotherapist and every time I help a client to get past some issue or another it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.
I love it so much when I get emails from them telling me how they are getting on now that their stumbling block is gone.
But just like with everything else in life – sometimes I need a break from it.
That’s what I’m doing this week.
Instead of concentrating on clients, I’m focussing on me.
I’m getting my diet back to where it should be.
I’m exercising every day.
I’m working on what I want from life and how to get it.
I’m being genuinely selfish – and I think it’s a good thing.
We all know people who are tired martyrs. They go through life doing everything for everyone else and very little for themselves. I quite often get to see these people when they have had enough – when they’ve burned themselves out. They come to me as anxious, nervous people who feel that everyone is taking advantage of them and that no-one appreciates them. Their stress levels are frequently through the roof and their self esteem can be very low. They often externalize their self esteem, so that they only feel good if other people are telling them how wonderful they are. The problem is that after a while you stop appreciating people who are ALWAYS doing things for you and you come to expect it from them. In fact you can go so far as to be upset with them if they stop for some reason, even if that reason is sickness or exhaustion.
The first thing I try to establish with these clients is a sense of self worth – not what others appreciate – but what they do. Once you have a genuine sense of self worth, you can start to be nicer to yourself and as a consequence, are sometimes nicer to those around you. This can be easier said than done, but hypnosis is a wonderful tool.
The next thing that comes from being nicer to yourself is making space in your life to take care of yourself. At its essence this is being selfish – and yes – I still think that’s a good thing. Thinking of yourself is important. Taking care of yourself is important. Being selfish is important.
As with almost everything in life, it’s about balance.
People who spend too much time just thinking of themselves can be even more self-destructive than those who never do.
So how much Selfish is good?
Honestly – that depends on you. It depends on those around you. It depends on what you are trying to achieve.
My challenge to you today is to ask yourself 3 questions….
‘Am I being selfish enough?’
‘Am I being too selfish?’
and finally ‘What am I going to do about it?’
Wishing you all balance and harmony, go and have a great day 🙂
How we feel affects our appetites – for some more than others.
One of the ways people say that they can tell if there in love is that they go off their food.
For other people, being in a relationship (hopefully a happy one) will make them eat more.
An experiment was done recently where a group of people were sent on a mock driving test. No matter how good a driver you are, being tested is never nice and the tester in this case was trying to make them feel anxious. They were asked to do difficult manoeuvres and notes were taken without any comments. When they came back they were introduced to another group who had had a relaxing couple of hours. They had been chatting and listening to music – in general, they were just calm. They were then invited to an all you can eat buffet. When the amount eaten by each group was analysed it was found that the ‘stressed’ group ate many more calories than the ‘relaxed group’ – over 30% more. Although both groups had access to the same foods and had eaten the same thing earlier in the day, their experiences made them eat differently.
On the other hand some people lose a lot of weight, because their appetite dries up if they are stressed or upset. A phenomenon known as the ‘break up diet’ or ‘divorce diet’ is well documented. When we go through the trauma of a break up it can upset us so much that we go into a kind of grieving process and stop eating. This isn’t a deliberate act, the person concerned just has no hunger and food tastes unpleasant if they try to eat.
So all this can seem contradictory – when we are in love we can lose our appetite or eat more – the same goes for when we are stressed.
The truth seems to be much more about how we feel about ourselves during these processes and about how we want to feel. Food is often used to change the way we feel, but if we feel like we need to be in that emotional state, we tend to eat less.
The truth about all emotional eating is that when we eat we tend to go for comfort foods – foods that are high in fat/sugar/salt or all three. This is because these tend to set off the reward centres in our brains that make us feel better.
If you are trying to lose weight and think you are an emotional eater – before you eat something ask yourself – am I hungry. If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, am I hungry enough to eat an apple? If the answer to that is no, then your not actually hungry at all! Try doing something else to get your pleasure centres working – go for a walk, have a bath or play a game. When you’re hungry enough to eat something good for you, then eat that and be proud of yourself!
If you struggle with this or any other bad eating habit it may be worth seeking some help from a Hypnotherapist – they can help you to change your eating habit easily and permanently.
I just read a beautiful little poem – here it is for you.
Come sit down beside me, I said to myself.
And although it doesn’t make sense,
I held my own hand as a small sign of trust
And together I sat on the fence.
Sometime when we feel lonely or that we don’t quite fit in, we need to remember that we can sit beside ourselves and offer some comfort.
If you are religious, maybe you feel that your God is sitting beside you.
If you believe in an after life maybe it’s a lost relative or friend.
If you would rather believe in the universal energy, maybe that’s what will hold your hand.
Me, I’ll sit on the fence with me and make faces at everyone.
If you fancy it, come and join me 🙂