Have a Good Friday

In fact have a good weekend too!

That is all

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A change is as good as a rest

Hello!

I’ve had long hair for a while now, but on Wednesday I decided it had to go.

I booked an appointment at the hairdressers and today I went and had it all (well not quite ALL, but a hell of a lot of it) cut off.

It feels great.

Big changes are often scary, and I know that getting your hair cut is not that big of a deal, but I think it can be representative of how we feel about ourselves.

Quite often we change styles, cuts or colours when we move to new phases of our lives. It’s a way of saying goodbye to the old you and starting afresh.

Personally, I’ve been happy with the last phase, and I hope to be happy with the next one, but I must admit, I’m a little bit excited to see where it goes.

I was working with a client today who feels that they are stuck in a phase of their life where they don’t want to be any more. They felt that they didn’t have the strength to let go and move on.

It didn’t take long to find where the self destructive patterns of behaviour were, and with just a few tweeks and a reminder of how good her life had been before she entered this phase, she left feeling confident, optimistic, positive and enthusiastic about how she could move forward.

Those are things we can all strive to feel.

C.O.P.E.

Confident

Optimistic

Positive

Enthusiastic.

That’s how we cope.

Word of the month

My word of the month for January is …

Habit

January is a time when a lot of people are trying to make new habits or break old ones. It’s that New Year, New Me stuff.

We are fast approaching the time when most New years resolutions fall by the wayside.

According to studies most people give up on their resolution by the 22nd of January. If you’re still going for it, well done, but if you’ve already let old habits slip back in, don’t feel to bad about it – these things happen.

In some ways I was surprised to find that the resolutions were broken after 3 weeks. We are often told that it takes between 2 and 3 weeks to make a break a habit, which would suggest that by the 22nd we should have that habit firmly established. So, what get’s in our way?

I think part of the problem is that we still have the habit of thinking about whatever it is we are trying to change.

Whether you are trying to diet or exercise, study more or worry less you eill find yourself thinking about ‘how it used to be’. This is a habit you are creating too.

What can you do about this?

The main thing you can do is notice that you are doing it. When you notice these thoughts popping into your head, think about what you are saying to yourself. Are you saying things like ‘I’d rather be doing…’ or ‘I’m missing out on…..’ or ‘I’d normally be eating….’ All of these are really tempting difficult thought patterns for you to deal with.

Imagine being on a diet and you have a best friend who was constantly with you. Every time you get hungry they say ‘some cake would be lovely around now’ or ‘that salad is rubbish compared to the takeaway we normally have on a Friday’ or ‘wouldn’t you rather have a biscuit?’

That would be really hard to deal with, and you’d probably fall of the wagon.

Now imagine that best friend was really supporting you. Instead of all that unhelpful talk they were saying things like ‘You are looking and feeling better every day’ or ‘That healthy choice you’ve made for dinner is helping you to get into those jeans you want’ or ‘I’m so proud of you sticking to your diet, even when it’s tricky’.

That friend is going to help you to achieve your goals.

Make a new habit to be your own best friend and think about what you are saying to yourself. Support yourself as you would a true friend and you’ll be surprised what you can do.

Sometimes it can be difficult to deal with negative thought patterns and this is where therapy and in particular CBT and Hypnotherapy can be very useful. With CBT you work on changing the negative thought patterns into positive ones by completing exercises to challenge your thoughts. With Hypnotherapy we use access to the subconscious to change these thought patterns in an easy way. There’s no reason not to get help with these things if you find them too difficult to do on your own. You used an instructor to teach you how to drive, why not use one to help you think in a productive, fulfilling way?

Here’s to Fish and Chips Friday!

Guess what I’m having for dinner.

🙂

World Hello Day 21 Nov 2014

Today is world Hello Day.

If you want to participate in World Hello Day is quite simple: all you have to do is say hello to at least 10 people during that one day.

This is supposed to send a message of openness and goodwill to others, and the creators of the holiday hoped this small gesture alone would demonstrate how communication can be instrumental in resolving disputes and preventing conflicts.

If you would like to take this a step further, you could always think about a person in your life that is important to you, but that you have fallen out with over something that is perhaps not quite worth it. Time tends to be a great healer, so if enough time has passed from your conflict for you to be able to analyze the situation and all of its aspects, seeing your own faults and wrongdoings as well as those of the other party, maybe it’s time to put the conflict behind you? Many people do not know how good it actually feels to admit you were in the wrong and say sorry—instead, they see such behavior as a display of weakness, when it is actually a display of strength and confidence. People also often make the mistake of thinking that the other person will lose respect for you if you apologize to them, and this too is incorrect. Most people will respect you more for being able to admit you were in the wrong, than if you decide to stubbornly hold onto your convictions after being proven incorrect. It may seen a bit daunting at first, but if the person you’ve fought with is important enough to you, it will always be worth the struggle to make the first move and extend your hand to them in a gesture of peace.

The History of World Hello Day

World Hello Day was first created in 1973 in order to show people that conflicts can and should be resolved through communication, and not violence. The idea is that clear, honest communication breeds peace. In the 1970s, the conflict between Egypt and Israel was quite severe, and many people began to fear yet another huge war would end up coming of it. World Hello Day was in fact created as a direct response to the Yom Kippur War that had just finished in October of 1973, during which thousands of both soldiers and innocent civilians were killed. Some soldiers had also been tortured and flat out executed. The peace discussion at the end of the war was the first time that Arab and Israeli officials met for direct public discussion in 25 years. The concept of World Hello Day was created by Brian McCormack, a Ph.D. Graduate of Arizona State University, and Michael McCormack, a graduate of Harvard. Over the last 42 years since its creation, World Hello Day has been celebrated in 180 countries, as citizens of each of these countries take advantage of this time to express their concerns for world peace. Thirty-one winners of the Nobel Peace Prize have stated that World Hello Day carries substantial value as an instrument for preserving peace, and as an occasion that makes it possible for anyone in the world, individual, organization or government, to contribute to the process of creating peace.

So, Hello,

How are you doing today?

FRIDAY GOOD NEWS STORY

Jasper the dog found after social media campaign goes viral

Border Collie Jasper vanished on Sunday when out for a walk up Scafell Pike in the Lake District with his owner Adam Nolan.

Adam was desperate when Jasper went missing and posted on Facebook to alert people to keep an eye out for him if they were in the area. This got reposted thousands of times and people came from over 100 miles away to aid in the search.

Adam got up at dawn every day and searched until dark to no avail, but was joined by a mountain rescue team, helicopter, police and dog lovers who continued to search for him and he was found on Thursday at 2.00 a.m. when a mountain rescuer spotted his eyes by torch light. Jasper’s paws were bloodied from scrabbling around on the mountain so the rescuer, a man called Geoff Horky, carried him down to be reunited with Adam.

The love and devotion showed by Adam struck a chord with thousands of others who did what they could to help. Even after he was found this shining example motivated even more to generosity in donating to mountain rescue to help others who may need it in the future.

A JustGiving page set up by Mr Nolan to raise money for the rescue team had raised more than £25,000 by 19:00 GMT.

If you would like to support Mountain Rescue in the UK, please check out the link here to find out more.

Positive Post-it Day

As you know I like to post good news stories on Fridays – I think we all need to focus on something wonderful at least once a week. This week I want to highlight the story of Caitlin. She was bullied at school and on facebook. She took this horrible experience and did something powerful and positive with it. This is a quote from her facebook page. 

“After being bullied in my school, I saw this idea on Pintrest about a school in the States who put Post Its all over there school and I decided that I wanted to take that stand against bullying as well. I bought over 800 post-it notes, wrote positive messages on them, and put them all over the school. My entire community, especially the Airdrie Moms, rallied together to make October 9th “Positive Post-It Day.” This community helped support and all cooperated together to make this day a huge success. A nationally celebrated day, we are preparing to continue the idea and post-it the world next year during the first Monday in October! This is a free way to show people you truly care about them! If you wish to donate, please feel free to donate to your local bulling initiatives.”

Don’t wait until next October – write down some positive things on some post it notes and leave them around your school, work, doctors office, bus stop, shop window – wherever you think people might need to feel a little better x

Here are some of the previous Friday good news stories you might like to visit

Magnificent Malala

That Friday Feeling

Lessons from an elephant with a blue ribbon

Magnificent Malala

Malala Yousafzai Inspires me more than I can say.

She won a Nobel Peace Prize last Friday for her “Struggle against the suppression of children” and her commitment to children’s rights around the world.

After surviving horrific and life-threatening gunshot wounds to the face by the Taliban just two years ago, the 17-year-old Pakistani girl took her fight for peace and gender equality to the world stage, and she was heard. The people that shot Malala wanted to scare young women away from being educated. What they ended up doing was giving an amazing girl the platform she needed to raise awareness and support to ensure that thousands more girls would get an education.

She created the Malala Fund which aims to empower girls everywhere. Her passion for education may have been influenced by her mother. Growing up Malala’s mother was never taught to read, something she is now remedying.

The Global Partnership for Education, which works in low-income countries to ensure basic education for all, has said that a grant from the Malala Fund would support the first-ever youth delegation at a world education conference in Brussels. Malala is quoted as saying “I believe all countries can do more.” At this year’s Clinton Global Initiative, Malala announced that her fund is pledging a $3 million multi year commitment, in partnership with Echidna Giving, toward education in developing countries, according to ABC News. Some of those funds will go toward a girls’ education summit this December.

As well as being a passionate advocate for education Malala has also become a global voice for the Nigerian girls abducted by Boko Haram. She urged the Nigerian President Mr Jonathan to meet with parents of the 219 schoolgirls kidnapped by the terrorist group, and further his commitment to bring the girls home safely. “My birthday wish this year is ‘Bring back our girls’ now and alive, Malala said.

At the start I wrote that I find Malal Yousafzai unbelievably inspiring. If you do too, why not make your Friday act of Kindness one which will help young women in education around the world. Support the Malala Fund or any other organisation that aims to give women the chance to learn, to educate themselves and to have lives that have choices and freedom.

I live in the UK. We can often think that there is injustice between how Men and Women are treated. There may be discrepancies between wages, there may be fewer women politicians and CEO’s than I would like and there may be institutionalised sexism in our forces and police, but we are fighting to change this. Take up the fight for equal rights for all – in the world, in your own country, in your own religion, in your own workplace and in your own home.

The size of these battles varies – fight the ones that make the most difference.

If you have daughters, nieces or granddaughters teach them how lucky they are to have a chance to do anything they want. Show them what an amazing gift an education is.

What they learn, now and for the rest of their lives, is their passport to opportunity.

Have a great weekend.

World Mental Health Day 2014

Today is World Mental Health Day.

This years aim is to highlight mental health and more specifically schizophrenia.

In the wake of the death of Robin Williams, the world became more open to talking about mental health and in particular depression. Unfortunately, research out this week shows that although attitudes have indeed significantly improved in the last few years, the stigma is still widespread. Nine of ten people with mental health problems say this has had a negative impact on their lives.

The easy test of this is that most of us would simply not feel as comfortable telling friends and family about having a mental health problem, as they would saying they had a physical illness.

For illnesses like bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, the stigma can be particularly stark. Research commissioned by Rethink Mental Illness found 65% of people would not tell their employer if they were diagnosed with schizophrenia. It’s hard to imagine the same proportion of people would keep a cancer diagnosis a secret.

Many people are now familiar with the often quoted statistic that 1 in 4 people will experience some kind of mental health problem in any given year. Whilst this is true, it doesn’t take into account that fact that we all have mental health that needs to be taken care of, in the same way we all have physical health. While most of us won’t develop a diagnosable mental health problem, our mental health will have ups and downs and we can all benefit from taking steps to protect our wellbeing. It also ignores the fact that the one in four people who are diagnosed have friends, family and colleagues who will be affected by this. In some way mental health issues affect us all.

This year, pledge to make a difference about mental health.

You can

• choose to be more open about your own issues
• choose to be more supportive to friends or family who suffer with these issues
• choose to be an employer who is open about helping staff with mental health issues
• choose to read and understand more about the issues that people face
• choose to donate time or money to organisations who help people in these circumstances
• choose to get help if you need it
• choose to take care of your mental health to try to prevent problems occurring
• choose to notice how things affect you and those around you.

What do you choose?

If you need to get help or want to help someone that is suffering there are many amazing organisations around the world who are willing and able to support you.

In the UK visit MIND or Rethink

In America visit Mental Health America

In Australia visit Mental Health Australia

I’ve added these links purely as examples of what is there. Please search in your local area and find a group or organisation who will give you the support you need and who in turn, you can support.

Wishing everyone out there a happy, healthy and Mentally Healthy weekend.

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That Friday feeling

Those of you that follow my little blog will know that I like to post a good news story on a Friday.

It often involves a charity or people just being good Samaritans – this one is both.

I happily admit to being a sucker for any kind of animal charity – dogs in particular – as I think they are one of the most beautiful, loving, trusting animals on the planet and it shames humanity that we don’t always treat them in the same way.

The video above was posted by Hope for Paws, founded by Audrey and Eldad Hagar who have been fostering hundreds of animals in their home for the past eight years.They created Hope for Paws to help animals in this the U.S. who suffer and die every year because of negligence and abuse.

The fact that the dog in the video was in no way aggressive, despite the fact that it had clearly had a difficult time, just makes my admiration for a furry friends grow even more. I think we could all learn a lot from them.

If you want to commit to a Random act of Friday Kindness, giving to or helping out at an animal charity could make all the difference.

Have a fantastic Weekend.

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