Self Care Advent Calendar Day 16

If you read my post yesterday, you’ll know that I wrote this yesterday in an attempt to get ahead of the game – I hope you enjoy it. What did you get ahead of, and how do you feel about it today knowing that you have one less thing to do?

One of the reasons I wanted to get this done yesterday is that today is my Partner’s Birthday. He is away at work in the morning, but will be home by afternoon and I want to make sure that the house is nice and clean, his favourite food and drinks are bought and prepared and that I can spend all my time celebrating with him.

Which brings me on to today’s topic – time.

The most valuable commodity you have is your time. We all have a limited amount of it – 24 hours in a day, 365 days in a year and who knows how may years in our life. We sell our time to our clients or our employers. We give our time to our friends and family. Some of us have more than we know what to do with, some of us could do with bonus hours in the day and days in the week. Time is precious.

I often have people tell me that they don’t have time to do things. Exercise , meditation, cooking for themselves, mindfulness etc. My response tends to be that we all have the same amount of time in a day, we just have to decide how we are going to use it. When you say you don’t have time, what you mean is I prioritise other things over this.

Have you ever had a conversation with a child who wants you to do something with them, and you’ve said that you don’t have time. Try reframing that sentence into a priority statement. Instead of saying I don’t have time, you say it as I am prioritising something else over doing this with you. Now if the thing you are prioritising is important, that’s ok. Some things have to take priority – earning money to pay bills, buying food to eat, cooking meals to keep them healthy. If the thing you are prioritising is less important or maybe even selfish, then this sentence can highlight that and help you to see things in a more honest way. For example if you tell someone that you are prioritising getting drunk over helping them with something important to them, then you are going to struggle to justify that.

So, spend your time wisely today – and every day. It’s one of the few things you can never get back.

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One of the ways you can tell if you, or someone you know, has an addiction is the way they prioritise their time. If fulfilling the addiction takes priority over everything else, like being with others, taking care of themselves or their children, or working, then it’s time to get some serious help. Hypnotherapy and other talking therapies are one of the best ways to help you break free of addictive patterns. See if you can get the need today.

Work to Live or Live to Work

How’s your Work / Life Balance?

Do you think you’ve got it about right?

If not, what can you do to change it?

Firstly you need to establish what’s important to you – If you lost your job tomorrow how would you feel? If you lost your family and friends tomorrow how would you feel? It’s much easier to get a new job than new loved ones. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say your job is not important. It’s good for you mentally as well as financially to have a job that you are invested in and have a passion to do well at, but it should only be a part of your life. If you won the lottery tomorrow and were rich beyond your wildest dreams, would you continue to do your job? If not, then you are doing it for the money. While that’s understandable, it’s not a reason to let it infringe on the whole of your life.

With most jobs work should start when you get to work, and end when you walk away from it. It is important to leave work at work. If you come home and spend your evenings complaining about what you had to put up with all day, or constantly on your ‘phone or computer dealing with messages or emails then you are extending your working day and ruining your free time. If you find it difficult to do this you might like to try this little exercise…

This is most effective if you use a method of self hypnosis first.

Imagine something that represents work for you. It might be a tool that you use as part of your job, a symbol that you associate with it or something else entirely. Whatever it is, see it clearly in your mind’s eye and link your working day to it.

Now imagine something that represents coming home for you. It could be getting into your car, a train or bus or maybe just opening your front door. When you see yourself doing that activity imagine the thing that represented work for you being blocked in some way. It can’t come in, so you can either tie it down so that it just stays there and waits for you to come back or it can simply float away. Which ever you feel is right.

This creates a mental disconnect from work and home and should make it easier to leave the work at work.

By creating a space for you to be free from work you allow yourself to be present with the people that matter to you and to do the things you want to do. This is incredibly important for you and your relationships, but also allows you to be more present and focussed at work when you’re there.

Enjoy your free time this week – do something amazing 🙂