Tag Archives: diet

January Blues? 5 ways to feel better NOW

We’re coming to the end of January and for some, it can feel like a difficult time of the year. Christmas is over (though the credit card bills may not be) and the new years resolutions are an uphill battle. If things are getting on top of you, here are some quick things you can do to make yourself feel better now.

  1. Get outdoors.

Yes I know, the weather may not be what you’d like, but that’s probably the best reason to get out there. We can all suffer from a lack of vitamin D if we’re not getting enough sun, so it’s especially important in the winter months to get out whenever you can. Also getting some exercise in the great outdoors has other health benefits. A brisk stroll or gentle jog will get the heart rate up, burn calories and help you fend off a multitude of problems like dementia and type 2 diabetes, so pull out your woolly hat and get out there!

2. Eat clean.

The benefits of eating clean healthy food is enormous and very well documented. You don’t need me to tell you that it’s a good idea for your body, but what you may not be aware of, is that it’s a good idea for your mind too. By taking the time to eat well and look after yourself, you will give yourself a psychological boost. Not only will you feel proud of yourself for making positive changes, but you will also, subconsciously, feel more valued and appreciated by yourself. This in turn leads to feelings of more self worth and importance. The long term affects of eating clean will leave you looking healthier and more vital, so you will also start to get that recognition from others which in turn boosts your confidence.

3. Be mindful.

Practice being in the moment. Whether your going for a walk, sitting cross-legged burning incense or peeling the potatoes, you can spend a couple of minutes every day being mindful. I heard a great phrase – Leave your front door and your back door open. Allow your thoughts to come and go. Just don’t make them tea. Being mindful is just that. Be in the moment, allow whatever thoughts come into your mind, and release them. Don’t focus on them, just notice them and let them go. You don’t have to do anything about a thought that pops in your head.

4.Be grateful.

One of the things that happy people tend to have in common is that they’re grateful for what they have. It may be riches, friends and beauty, or it may be being alive, having another opportunity to try again and a roof over their heads. However much you have, you will always find others who have more – and you will find others that have less. You can either be filled with envy or grateful. It doesn’t change your situation, but it does change how you feel – remember, you are in charge of that.

5.Stop feeling guilty

Guilt is a horrible emotion. It makes you feel bad and it makes those around you feel bad. Whatever you are feeling guilty about, STOP IT! Change your behaviour, change your feelings, change your life – it’s in your control. Guilt not only makes us feel bad, but it makes us behave in ways that we wouldn’t normally consider. In my humble opinion it is at the root of lots of cases of depression, low self esteem and even suicide. If you are feeling guilty about something that happened in the past, do what you can to make amends for it. If you can do nothing more about it, let it go and move on. I know that sounds difficult to do, but if you’re struggling to achieve it on your own, get help. There are plenty of people who are ready and willing to help you do this, either within your own social circle or professionally, so don’t suffer in silence.

Do these 5 things and finish January feeling fabulous – and if all else fails, start planning your summer hols 馃檪

1 Comment

Filed under Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, Dieting, Exercise, experiment, Food, Good News, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, meditation, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Stress, suicide, support, Worrying

Being Selfish

Let me start off by saying – I love what I do.

I’m a Hypnotherapist and every time I help a client to get past some issue or another it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.

I love it so much when I get emails from them telling me how they are getting on now that their stumbling block is gone.

But just like with everything else in life – sometimes I need a break from it.

That’s what I’m doing this week.

Instead of concentrating on clients, I’m focussing on me.

I’m getting my diet back to where it should be.

I’m exercising every day.

I’m working on what I want from life and how to get it.

I’m being genuinely selfish – and I think it’s a good thing.

We all know people who are tired martyrs. They go through life doing everything for everyone else and very little for themselves. I quite often get to see these people when they have had enough – when they’ve burned themselves out. They come to me as anxious, nervous people who feel that everyone is taking advantage of them and that no-one appreciates them. Their stress levels are frequently聽through the roof and their self esteem can be very low. They often externalize their self esteem, so that they only feel good if other people are telling them how wonderful they are. The problem is that after a while you stop appreciating people who are ALWAYS doing things for you and you come to expect it from them. In fact you can go so far as to be upset with them if they stop for some reason, even if that reason is sickness or exhaustion.

The first thing I try to establish with these clients is a sense of self worth – not what others appreciate – but what they do. Once you have a genuine sense of self worth, you can start to be nicer to yourself and as a consequence, are sometimes nicer to those around you. This can be easier said than done, but hypnosis is a wonderful tool.

The next thing that comes from being nicer to yourself is making space in your life to take care of yourself. At its essence this is being selfish – and yes – I still think that’s a good thing. Thinking of yourself is important. Taking care of yourself is important. Being selfish is important.

As with almost everything in life, it’s about balance.

People who spend too much time just thinking of themselves can be even more self-destructive than those who never do.

So how much Selfish is good?

Honestly – that depends on you. It depends on those around you. It depends on what you are trying to achieve.

My challenge to you today is to ask yourself 3 questions….

‘Am I being selfish enough?’

‘Am I being too selfish?’

and finally ‘What am I going to do about it?’

Wishing you all balance and harmony, go and have a great day 馃檪

5 Comments

Filed under coaching, Development, Dieting, Exercise, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, meditation, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Peace, poetry, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Self Hypnosis, Stress, support

Do your best

Have you ever done your best?

Have聽you ever tried as hard as you possibly can?

Have you done all of the preparation work that you possibly could?

Have you trained as hard as you could have?

Have you reread and rewritten your work enough?

Have you been focussed enough?

Have you tried every possible way to get it done?

Have you sought professional help or expertise?

Have you eliminated distractions?

Have you avoided all temptation?

Have you given it everything you’ve got?

Chances are that the answer is a big fat NO.

That’s OK.

(almost everyone else will say no to that too)

Stop beating yourself up. Accept that your not perfect and be a little nicer to yourself

There are, of course, exceptions – maybe you’re one of them – and if you are – Well Done.

I’m very impressed and all that but seriously – get a life!

Smile, relax, have fun, eat a cake, daydream, watch silly TV, make up stories in your head – it’s all really cool stuff 馃檪

So maybe do your best, but then again, maybe don’t.

Try to be happy…

…but don’t try too hard!

Leave a comment

Filed under addiction, Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, Dieting, Exercise, Food, fun, Good News, Happy, Health, humour, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, meditation, Motivation, nutrition, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Self Hypnosis, Stress, support, Worrying

The power of belief

coventry hypnotherapy

Belief is a powerful thing.

We all believe in things.

Some people believe in God who has a hand in their life.

Some people believe that they are lucky.

Some people believe that everything happens for a reason.

Some people believe in fairies.

Some people believe that the sun will come up tomorrow.

Some people believe in themselves.

Sometimes the things we don’t believe in are just as powerful.

What if you don’t believe in yourself?

Do you try anyway?

What if you don’t think you can do it?

Do you give up at the first hurdle because it just proved to you that it was impossible?

What if you don’t believe you’re lucky?

Does every bad thing that happens confirm that you were right?

We all have something called confirmation bias.

That means that we give extra attention and credit to things that confirm what we already think.

For example have you ever noticed that if you don’t like someone, almost everything you do annoys you. yet if a person you really liked did exactly the same thing it probably wouldn’t bother you (well, not as much anyway).

So when we don’t believe in ourselves our confirmation bias just makes it even harder to believe.

As a hypnotherapist, I often work with people who don’t believe that they can do the things they want. Maybe it’s lose weight, maybe give up smoking, maybe be confident in public, maybe its to be unafraid around spiders. Whatever it is, the more they believe that they cannot do it, the more likely it is that they won’t.

Luckily I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

The first thing I have to do is to change their belief set.

Today I was working with a lovely lady who wants to lose weight. She said that she had been overweight since she was a small child. When we first started the session I asked her if she believed she could lose weight and she said ‘no’. When I asked her why she said that, she had never been a healthy weight, so didn’t see how she could be in the future. So, after finding out about her eating habits, how she felt about food and eating, going through her routines and requirements we started with the hypnosis. The first twenty minutes were all about changing her belief patterns – nothing whatsoever about eating, appetite or food. After we had worked on this I asked where she was now – how much did she believe that she could lose weight? She replied ‘90% sure’

So we went from 0 to 90% in 20 minutes.

We then went on to work on changing eating habits and food types and put in place all the things she needed in order to be able to lose weight easily.

The real work was done in the first 20 minutes. She now believes that she CAN lose weight. Her confirmation bias will prove to her every day that it’s possible and if she wants it, she WILL be able to do it. The other stuff was just making it easier for her.

Think about what you believe in and maybe more importantly, what you don’t.

It could change your life!

7 Comments

Filed under addiction, coaching, depression, Development, Dieting, Exercise, experiment, Food, Good News, Happy, hypnosis, inspiration, lifestyle, meditation, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Phobia, Positivity, Psychology, Stop Smoking, Stress, Worrying

Food Phobia – Fussy Eating and it’s causes

Most of the people I see as a Hypnotherapist come to me for something to do with food.

For the vast majority of those people it’s that they would like to not eat so much of it. They want to change their relationship with food so that they are in charge and so that they can easily say no to junk food and eat in a more healthy way.

For some people it’s that they would like to eat more. They either have some obsessive compulsive behaviour around food (separating foods out, liquidising food, not allowing foods to touch, feeling sick at the thought of eating certain foods etc. etc.) Anorexic and bulimic behaviours also fall into this category but are often more complicated and have underlying emotional issues that need to be resolved alongside them.

A lot of people that fall into the ‘eat more’ group have had a negative experience when eating food. Quite often that was a choking incident and it has left them with a fear of eating. Almost all phobias are learned responses. We can learn them from the people around us (you tend to find that kids who have parents who are scared of spiders will continue that phobia themselves), or we can learn them through experience (something scared us, hurt us or upset us in some way). The initial scary event is often referred to as the sensitizing event of the phobia. Normally this is followed up some time later by a confirming event. Let’s say for instance you choked on a piece of steak. That initial choking is the sensitizing event. The next time you go to eat steak, you remember that you choked last time and are a little apprehensive. This causes your mouth to dry up, your throat to tighten slightly and your heart rate to increase. You notice this and it causes increased anxiety which in turn causes the anxiety to kick up a notch. The increase in adrenaline in your system makes you feel a bit queasy – like that sick feeling you get before you go on stage – but you link that churning stomach to the steak. 聽Now you have a phobia.

One of the common mistakes parents make when they have a child who is a fussy eater is to accept this behaviour. They can start to accommodate the child’s preference for this or that or their dislike of certain foods. By changing the foods that they give the child, they are confirming that they had a reason to refuse it in the first place. This in effect becomes confirming behaviour and leads to food issues. The other common mistake is to fight with the child and attempt to make them eat it. Now the confirming event is that every time the food that they don’t like is put in front of them, there will be stress and confrontation.

So what do you do?

Current thinking is that the best way to deal with a child who is a fussy eater is to continue to give them the foods they dislike if you are having them as part of a family meal. If they choose to leave them, don’t make a big deal of it. They just get less food. If they see their parents and siblings enjoying that food they are much more likely to give it a try and they have no negative associations with it.

If you are an adult who has developed food phobias in the past – get help! The world of food is an enjoyable one. As with any other phobia Hypnotherapy offers great success in getting rid of it for ever – what are you waiting for?

Leave a comment

Filed under coaching, Development, Dieting, experiment, Food, Good News, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Phobia, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help, Stress, Worrying

Know yourself

Hi, my name is Sue.

I’m good at some things and not so good at others.

I am easily distracted – I think I may have been a magpie in a former incarnation. Shiny things (shiny ideas, toys, time wasters) can grab my attention.

I am good at finding creative solutions to problems.

For instance I get very excited at the start of a project – I come up with lots of ideas and think of imaginative and creative ways to do things. As time goes by I can become bored with my ideas and / or lose confidence in them and some of my plans and ideas fall by the wayside – my long term consistency can be lacking.

Other people can struggle with coming up with a plan, but once it’s made they will see it through to the finish, no matter what.

We are all different.

Now, of course, you can try to mould yourself into the person you want to be, but if you are fighting against your nature, then you are going to find it a difficult task to achieve.

The trick to achieving want you want is to understand yourself and try to work with your strengths.

Whenever I see a client who wants to change their life in some way, I ask them what they are good at, and what they are not so good at.

It constantly surprises me how difficult people find these questions to answer.

So – What are you good at?

– What are you not so good at?

Now think about a goal or plan that you have for yourself – maybe it’s to lose weight, get fitter, get a promotion, start your own business, grow your blog, change your relationship – whatever it is, think about how you can use your strengths to help you to achieve it. When you’ve worked out how you can get things changed, think about what might go wrong. Go back and look at the things you don’t do so well, and try to use your strengths to find solutions to overcome these potential obstacles.

This achieves two things.

Firstly you are working to your strengths – even when dealing with the things you don’t do so well. This means you are far more likely to succeed than if you are trying to change the things you struggle with.

Secondly – you have a plan. I know it’s a cheesy old saying but ‘Fail to plan and you plan to fail’. We are all at risk of forgetting what our goal is for thinking about what we want/don’t want right now. By having a plan – and writing it down – you achieve a different mindset. You keep your eyes on the prize and don’t forget about the overall aim so easily. If you set yourself mini goals within your overall goal it also helps to keep you focussed and motivated as you tick off the things that you have achieved.

Anyone can do anything the set their mind to – it takes work and dedication, but it can be done. I just think knowing yourself and acting accordingly makes it so much easier.

Good Luck with your goals 馃檪

talktherapies

4 Comments

Filed under Blogging, coaching, depression, Development, Dieting, Exercise, Food, Good News, Happy, Health, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Self Help, Stress

Slimming for Summer

hypnotherapy in coventry for weight loss

It’s that time of year again.

The weather is getting warmer, the clothes are getting lighter and we’re all starting to think about how we will look in our swimwear in a few months.

Maybe that’s why I’m getting so many call about losing weight with Hypnosis at the moment.

Often when it’s time to start to take control of our diet we end up having an argument with ourselves.

Part of us want to lose weight – it wants to maintain a healthy weight and/or manage our weight to look good.

Part of us wants to keep up the eating habits that got us to put on weight in the first place.

The tricky part is that the part that wants to keep going is the part that’s currently in charge.

That’s why Hypnosis is such a good option.

Whether you go for something like Hypnotic Gastric Band which immediately and dramatically reduces your appetite, or you go for a weight management system that helps you change your eating habits, what you are doing is short circuiting all the problems and going straight to the solution.

Instead of having the constant battle of wanting to be slimmer, but still wanting to maintain your current eating habits, both parts of your mind can be working together to help you to achieve the figure you want.

You don’t have to have iron willpower, as there is nothing to resist! It’s just the pleasure and excitement you get from achieving your goals.

Here’s a little exercise to help you say no to the food’s you are trying to avoid – I call it Hell NO!

In this exercise I want you to have a really good think about what your life would be like if you gained the body shape you desire. Think about how you would feel, what clothes you would wear, the reactions of other people to the new you.
Importantly at this stage, as you think about that outcome, that goal, that achievement in your life, think about the actions you have to take to accomplish this new fitter, trimmer you.
When you think about those actions you’d have to take, notice and become really tuned in to yourself…
路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 What is it that you actually do instead?
路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 What feelings and thoughts come up before you get sidetracked?
路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 What are the excuses that you come up with to make it ok not to accomplish?
If the excuses do not directly make themselves obvious, perhaps notice how your thoughts redirect you, and what thoughts do actually redirect. We can refer to those thoughts as excuses for the rest of this exercise.

All the time, notice subtle thoughts, images in your mind, feelings that you feel and be very perceptive of this.
You might find that if you attempted to put these feelings or thoughts into words, they possibly sound silly, that鈥檚 OK, and in fact it鈥檚 great.
They are deep routed rationalisations and excuses that tend to get buried and hidden usually, yet have all the power to keep you off track to achieving that outcome you really do desire

So get as much of an awareness as possible of these excuses, notice how you perceive them if they have sounds to them, any internal dialogue, feelings and so on…

Then when you really have a feel for them, you can carry on with the next part.

Now we want to assess the excuses and see what they are up to…

The best way to ascertain the pattern of your excuses is to ask yourself some questions and trust your unconscious mind’s responses…

路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Is it really just an excuse?

路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Do I want to keep this excuse?

路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 How does using the excuse serve me?

路聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Is there some way that I gain from using this excuse?
If there is some valid value you receive from this excuse, then you can allow yourself to keep those parts of it, you can maintain them should you wish

With the answers and getting an idea of the purpose of your excuse, move on to the next step.

Did you ever say the expression “Hell NO!”??聽Did you ever deeply refute and refuse something with a strong sense of “NO!” ??
Now is the time to recall a time when you said or felt like saying “Hell No!”

Maybe it was an occasion when you were absolutely disgusted at something, when you totally refuted something, or maybe when something was utterly and completely unacceptable to you. Get in to a state of “Hell No!” and the more disgusted, the more you mean and refute with that sense of “Hell No!” the better!!

Imagine that you spread this state throughout your body. Imagine it as a colour. Imagine the sense of it connecting to every cell in your being.

Spend as much time as you possibly can to ensure you get a very deep rooted sense of聽“Hell no!”聽running through every cell of your being.

聽Imagine your excuse in front of you.
Tread on it.

That’s right,聽stamp on it.聽Stomp on it. Jump and down viciously on it. Use all the mustered up power of your聽“hell no”聽state and bounce up and down on that excuse.

Pick up and throw it to the ground. Tear it in two, cast it to the floor again and stamp ferociously upon it.

Keep stomping. Keep stamping.聽

Unleash every ounce of your “hell no” state upon that empty excuse. Make it sorry!

Only move on when you are sure as possible that you have got all that pent up state unleashed on that excuse and it is fully destroyed

聽Have a good test to make sure you did this.
Think about your goal, your desired outcome, the body that you want to achieve.

Notice what happens when you imagine taking the actions that move you toward that outcome. Notice what you feel right now, what thoughts you have and what images come into your mind as you think about it.

Get a real sense to see if there are any other excuses lurking in the darkness somewhere. If you get a flavour of any, then return to the earlier steps and run through the process again. Think about how any lingering excuses can interfere with the very enjoyment of your life, how they can be hurdles to your accomplishments and leave your life a lot less satisfying.

When you are聽sure聽that you are free of those last remnants of excuses in relation to this outcome, then move on to the next step.

Remind yourself of your state of聽“Hell No”聽and how you used this with such conviction. Think about a time in your future, ideally the next occasion when you will be tempted to break your resolve 鈥 eat that take away, buy those snacks, choose not to exercise…
Just imagine that as you start doing that thing, you smash the last remnants of the old excuse with a massive聽“Hell NO!”聽response… Then imagine watching yourself ignoring the fatty food, walking past the snacks in the shop, getting ready to go for a walk.

Enjoy the beautiful feelings you get with knowing that you are in control and have all the tools and resolve to make a change in your life for the better. Notice how wonderful it feels.

Then –聽and this is important聽– go and take an action that is undeniably convincing to you that you have gotten rid of all those old excuses and start hatching your plans for a happier, healthier 聽life.

Leave a comment

Filed under Development, Dieting, Food, hypnosis, inspiration

Emotional eating – what that really means.

How we feel affects our appetites – for some more than others.

One of the ways people say that they can tell if there in love is that they go off their food.

For other people, being in a relationship (hopefully a happy one) will make them eat more.

An experiment was done recently where a group of people were sent on a mock driving test. No matter how good a driver you are, being tested is never nice and the tester in this case was trying to make them feel anxious. They were asked to do difficult manoeuvres and notes were taken without any comments. When they came back they were introduced to another group who had had a relaxing couple of hours. They had been chatting and listening to music – in general, they were just calm. They were then invited to an all you can eat buffet. When the amount eaten by each group was analysed it was found that the ‘stressed’ group ate many more calories than the ‘relaxed group’ – over 30% more. Although both groups had access to the same foods and had eaten the same thing earlier in the day, their experiences made them eat differently.

On the other hand some people lose a lot of weight, because their appetite dries up if they are stressed or upset. A phenomenon known as the ‘break up diet’ or ‘divorce diet’ is well documented. When we go through the trauma of a break up it can upset us so much that we go into a kind of grieving process and stop eating. This isn’t a deliberate act, the person concerned just has no hunger and food tastes unpleasant if they try to eat.

So all this can seem contradictory – when we are in love we can lose our appetite or eat more – the same goes for when we are stressed.

The truth seems to be much more about how we feel about ourselves during these processes and about how we want to feel. Food is often used to change the way we feel, but if we feel like we need to be in that emotional state, we tend to eat less.

The truth about all emotional eating is that when we eat we tend to go for comfort foods – foods that are high in fat/sugar/salt or all three. This is because these tend to set off the reward centres in our brains that make us feel better.

If you are trying to lose weight and think you are an emotional eater – before you eat something ask yourself – am I hungry. If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, am I hungry enough to eat an apple? If the answer to that is no, then your not actually hungry at all! Try doing something else to get your pleasure centres working – go for a walk, have a bath or play a game. When you’re hungry enough to eat something good for you, then eat that and be proud of yourself!

If you struggle with this or any other bad eating habit it may be worth seeking some help from a Hypnotherapist – they can help you to change your eating habit easily and permanently.

2 Comments

Filed under coaching, Development, Dieting, Food, Happy, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, Motivation, nutrition, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help, Stress

Hypnotic Gastric Bands – do they work?

The easy answer to this is – Yes – They do work.

Do they work for everybody? – no – but then neither do聽actual physical gastric bands. There are ways to cheat on both.

For those of you who are unsure what a hypnotic gastric band is, it is basically where you get put into hypnosis and talked through a gastric band operation.

Obviously, no actual surgery takes place, but your subconscious (which is the part of your brain that lets you know that you’re full, and can stop eating) believes it has, so that it has a similar effect to having the actual operation, but with none of the potential side effects or risks.

I know that can sound silly but think of a phobia. A phobia is an irrational fear. Your logical, conscious mind knows there is nothing to be scared of. However, It’s not your conscious mind that’s in charge. Your subconscious doesn’t care about the logic of the situation – it’s too busy being terrified!

It’s the same with the hypnotic gastric band. Your conscious mind will absolutely know that it hasn’t had a Gastric Band fitted, but it’s your subconscious that’s in charge of your appetite and how full you feel. If you subconscious believes that you have a gastric band in place, it will make you feel full after just a few mouthfuls of food, and leave you satisfied after small, healthy meals.

Now, if you want to lose weight, then eating less is a really good start, but it’s not the whole story.

If you are on a restricted diet, you also need to make sure you are eating the right things for you to be able to get all the essential vitamins and minerals. You need to be eating protein and fibre to keep your body working properly.

If you go to a hypnotherapist who is skilled, they should be able to take you through the hypnotic gastric band procedure without any issues, but you should also be making sure that they are working on changing the types of foods you eat as well as reducing your appetite.

One of the most important things the hypnotherapist can do is to understand your particular eating habits. Every overweight person has their own tale to tell. Maybe they’re emotional eaters, maybe it’s about snacking. Maybe they just eat too much or maybe it’s the wrong type of food. A good therapist will get a thorough understanding of the individuals issues and tailor the session to best meet the needs of their client. For example, if someone is an emotional eater, work needs to be done in other areas as well as just reducing appetite. The chance are that an emotional or stress eater doesn’t just eat when they are hungry, so you can reduce the appetite as much as you want, it won’t change the fact that they are eating too much and not managing their weight.

Obviously I’m a little biased about the benefits of hypnotherapy – I can honestly say from personal and professional experience that it is an amazingly powerful tool for change – but if you have trouble managing your weight you should seriously think about making a difference in your life today.

1 Comment

Filed under coaching, Development, Dieting, experiment, Food, Good News, Health, hypnosis, inspiration, Motivation, nutrition, Positivity, Psychology, Self Help

How to influence people

My Job is to influence people.

I’m a Hypnotherapist and people pay me to influence the way they think and feel, so I’ve learned a few tricks along the way.

One of the least successful methods to get anyone to change is to tell them to, yet that seems to be what most people do most of the time.

Another thing people think will work is to explain things to people. They believe that if the other person just understands that what they are thinking/doing is wrong then they will change their behaviour. Unfortunately, this rarely works either. Take smoking for instance. We all know that smoking is damaging to us, and that we are likely to suffer ill health if we do it, yet there are still millions of smokers in the world. Telling them so stop doesn’t work. Explaining that it is bad for them doesn’t work. So what does?

Generally speaking, the best way of influencing someone (who isn’t hypnotised) is by leading by example.

If someone has a phobia of spiders there is a pretty good chance they were influenced into this way of thinking by someone close to them who was also scared of spiders. They saw this person freak out and subconsciously decided that this was a good way to react. Conversely if a person with an existing phobia is surrounded by people who are calm and relaxed around spiders, they may start to feel more relaxed themselves.

I had a client the other day who desperately wanted their partner to come for a hypnotherapy session with me. The partner was adamant that it wasn’t for them and refused point blank to even think about it. So my client booked 3 sessions with me to work on an issue she had. She went home after each session and told her partner how good it was making her feel and how much she was gaining from it. By the third session, he was asking if he could take her place.

When I was 11 years old I was told by a headmaster that the best piece of advice he could give me was to choose my friends wisely. It was a great piece of advice. Not only have my friends helped me through some difficult times and made good times better, but they have also influenced me. They have shaped my ideas and beliefs, they have led by example and I have learned so much from them. If I had chosen other friends, who knows where my life would have taken me. My advice to you would be to choose friends you respect. Choose friends you care about. Choose friends you want to be like.

If you want to influence someone be the example. Be their friend and show them by your words and more importantly your actions how good life can be. Show them what it is to be strong, caring, committed, healthy, reliable, responsible, fun, interesting and non judgemental. It may take some time, but you will be amazed at the impact it can have.

11 Comments

Filed under coaching, depression, Development, Dieting, Exercise, Happy, Health, inspiration, Mental Health, Motivation, nutrition, Peace, Phobia, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Help, Stop Smoking, Stress, Worrying