The power of belief

Belief is a powerful thing.

We all believe in things.

Some people believe in God who has a hand in their life.

Some people believe that they are lucky.

Some people believe that everything happens for a reason.

Some people believe in fairies.

Some people believe that the sun will come up tomorrow.

Some people believe in themselves.

Sometimes the things we don’t believe in are just as powerful.

What if you don’t believe in yourself?

Do you try anyway?

What if you don’t think you can do it?

Do you give up at the first hurdle because it just proved to you that it was impossible?

What if you don’t believe you’re lucky?

Does every bad thing that happens confirm that you were right?

We all have something called confirmation bias.

That means that we give extra attention and credit to things that confirm what we already think.

For example have you ever noticed that if you don’t like someone, almost everything you do annoys you. yet if a person you really liked did exactly the same thing it probably wouldn’t bother you (well, not as much anyway).

So when we don’t believe in ourselves our confirmation bias just makes it even harder to believe.

As a hypnotherapist, I often work with people who don’t believe that they can do the things they want. Maybe it’s lose weight, maybe give up smoking, maybe be confident in public, maybe its to be unafraid around spiders. Whatever it is, the more they believe that they cannot do it, the more likely it is that they won’t.

Luckily I have a few tricks up my sleeve.

The first thing I have to do is to change their belief set.

Today I was working with a lovely lady who wants to lose weight. She said that she had been overweight since she was a small child. When we first started the session I asked her if she believed she could lose weight and she said ‘no’. When I asked her why she said that, she had never been a healthy weight, so didn’t see how she could be in the future. So, after finding out about her eating habits, how she felt about food and eating, going through her routines and requirements we started with the hypnosis. The first twenty minutes were all about changing her belief patterns – nothing whatsoever about eating, appetite or food. After we had worked on this I asked where she was now – how much did she believe that she could lose weight? She replied ‘90% sure’

So we went from 0 to 90% in 20 minutes.

We then went on to work on changing eating habits and food types and put in place all the things she needed in order to be able to lose weight easily.

The real work was done in the first 20 minutes. She now believes that she CAN lose weight. Her confirmation bias will prove to her every day that it’s possible and if she wants it, she WILL be able to do it. The other stuff was just making it easier for her.

Think about what you believe in and maybe more importantly, what you don’t.

It could change your life!

Emotional eating – what that really means.

How we feel affects our appetites – for some more than others.

One of the ways people say that they can tell if there in love is that they go off their food.

For other people, being in a relationship (hopefully a happy one) will make them eat more.

An experiment was done recently where a group of people were sent on a mock driving test. No matter how good a driver you are, being tested is never nice and the tester in this case was trying to make them feel anxious. They were asked to do difficult manoeuvres and notes were taken without any comments. When they came back they were introduced to another group who had had a relaxing couple of hours. They had been chatting and listening to music – in general, they were just calm. They were then invited to an all you can eat buffet. When the amount eaten by each group was analysed it was found that the ‘stressed’ group ate many more calories than the ‘relaxed group’ – over 30% more. Although both groups had access to the same foods and had eaten the same thing earlier in the day, their experiences made them eat differently.

On the other hand some people lose a lot of weight, because their appetite dries up if they are stressed or upset. A phenomenon known as the ‘break up diet’ or ‘divorce diet’ is well documented. When we go through the trauma of a break up it can upset us so much that we go into a kind of grieving process and stop eating. This isn’t a deliberate act, the person concerned just has no hunger and food tastes unpleasant if they try to eat.

So all this can seem contradictory – when we are in love we can lose our appetite or eat more – the same goes for when we are stressed.

The truth seems to be much more about how we feel about ourselves during these processes and about how we want to feel. Food is often used to change the way we feel, but if we feel like we need to be in that emotional state, we tend to eat less.

The truth about all emotional eating is that when we eat we tend to go for comfort foods – foods that are high in fat/sugar/salt or all three. This is because these tend to set off the reward centres in our brains that make us feel better.

If you are trying to lose weight and think you are an emotional eater – before you eat something ask yourself – am I hungry. If the answer is yes, then ask yourself, am I hungry enough to eat an apple? If the answer to that is no, then your not actually hungry at all! Try doing something else to get your pleasure centres working – go for a walk, have a bath or play a game. When you’re hungry enough to eat something good for you, then eat that and be proud of yourself!

If you struggle with this or any other bad eating habit it may be worth seeking some help from a Hypnotherapist – they can help you to change your eating habit easily and permanently.

Hypnotic Gastric Bands – do they work?

The easy answer to this is – Yes – They do work.

Do they work for everybody? – no – but then neither do actual physical gastric bands. There are ways to cheat on both.

For those of you who are unsure what a hypnotic gastric band is, it is basically where you get put into hypnosis and talked through a gastric band operation.

Obviously, no actual surgery takes place, but your subconscious (which is the part of your brain that lets you know that you’re full, and can stop eating) believes it has, so that it has a similar effect to having the actual operation, but with none of the potential side effects or risks.

I know that can sound silly but think of a phobia. A phobia is an irrational fear. Your logical, conscious mind knows there is nothing to be scared of. However, It’s not your conscious mind that’s in charge. Your subconscious doesn’t care about the logic of the situation – it’s too busy being terrified!

It’s the same with the hypnotic gastric band. Your conscious mind will absolutely know that it hasn’t had a Gastric Band fitted, but it’s your subconscious that’s in charge of your appetite and how full you feel. If you subconscious believes that you have a gastric band in place, it will make you feel full after just a few mouthfuls of food, and leave you satisfied after small, healthy meals.

Now, if you want to lose weight, then eating less is a really good start, but it’s not the whole story.

If you are on a restricted diet, you also need to make sure you are eating the right things for you to be able to get all the essential vitamins and minerals. You need to be eating protein and fibre to keep your body working properly.

If you go to a hypnotherapist who is skilled, they should be able to take you through the hypnotic gastric band procedure without any issues, but you should also be making sure that they are working on changing the types of foods you eat as well as reducing your appetite.

One of the most important things the hypnotherapist can do is to understand your particular eating habits. Every overweight person has their own tale to tell. Maybe they’re emotional eaters, maybe it’s about snacking. Maybe they just eat too much or maybe it’s the wrong type of food. A good therapist will get a thorough understanding of the individuals issues and tailor the session to best meet the needs of their client. For example, if someone is an emotional eater, work needs to be done in other areas as well as just reducing appetite. The chance are that an emotional or stress eater doesn’t just eat when they are hungry, so you can reduce the appetite as much as you want, it won’t change the fact that they are eating too much and not managing their weight.

Obviously I’m a little biased about the benefits of hypnotherapy – I can honestly say from personal and professional experience that it is an amazingly powerful tool for change – but if you have trouble managing your weight you should seriously think about making a difference in your life today.

Everyone said

Here’s my weekly poem – I hope you enjoy it

It Couldn’t Be Done

BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

      But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

      Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

      On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

      At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

      And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

      Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

      That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

      There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

      The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

      Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

      That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

Sometimes you just need to get started

Morning my shiny happy people – how are you today?

It’s a beautiful sunny Monday morning here in Coventry, a bit on the nippy side, but lovely none the less.

I have to admit to something.

I’ve been procrastinating over a couple of things.

The first one was a paper work thing. I was a bit unsure about what I needed to do, so I found every excuse I could to avoid doing it. I found ‘busy’ work to do so that I could argue that I had been doing other things, I became very easily distracted by anything and everything that would take me away from it and I generally avoided having to get on with it. That has changed today and it makes me feel really good.

It feels great when you get something you have been putting off out of the way and you don’t have to think about it any more. If I do think about it, I think – well done me – I did that, rather than thinking that I should be doing it and feeling guilty and a bit rubbish about myself.

I bet you have one or two things that you are deliberately or subconsciously putting off…so what could be your trigger to getting them done?

Oddly, for me, it was getting on with something else that I had also been putting off.

My partner and I enjoy a good meal – maybe a little more than we should. Over the last few years the pounds have started to creep on and despite talking a lot about losing weight and using phases like ‘we could try this diet’ or ‘we should really do more exercise’ we hadn’t really committed to changing our habits at all – that is until this weekend. We stuck to a high protein, low carb meal plan and were quite impressed with the results – we both lost 4 pounds each. 4 pounds in 2 days is a hell of a kick start to a diet, and it made us both feel really good about sticking to it and achieving real results. This ‘win’ reminded me how good it feels to achieve something I’d been putting off and spurred me on to do my paperwork.

I was once told that the secret to getting things done is getting things started.

What are you going to start today?

Give it up for Lent

We are now in Lent – the period that one is supposed to give up something we enjoy for 40 days and nights – until Easter.

It kicked off yesterday with Pancake day or Shrove Tuesday where it is traditional to eat pancakes as this was seen as the final feast before the fasting of Lent.

Today it is very rare to fast for 40 days and nights, whatever your religion or faith system is based on, but is there any benefit to this ancient practice.

Proponents of the 5-2 diet where you eat drastically reduced calories (500-600) for 2 days a week will tell you that fasting is very good for your body. It reduces the chances of strokes, heart attacks and diabetes but I don’t think any of them would advocate a prolonged fast which would be much more likely to have a negative effect.

So how about giving up other stuff? Well if the thing you are giving up is intrinsically bad for you, such as smoking or self harming in some way, then that would be a good thing to do – and to keep up way past Easter.

What if the thing you are giving up isn’t exactly good for you, but isn’t necessarily bad either, like chocolate or the odd glass of wine. Well, again there appears to be a benefit. Showing a level of self denial or will power helps us to achieve the things we want in life. Psychologists believe that in some ways will power is like a muscle – you have to use it regularly to keep it strong.

How about giving up something you don’t like – for instance worrying or getting upset by things. Giving those up for a while could leave you feeling brilliant!

If you haven’t already given something up for Lent – why not set yourself a little challenge and see how you do?

You could even get people to sponsor you and raise a little money for charity.

Go on – Give it up!

How do I change my Life?

How do I change my life?

I don’t

I change me

I change how I think

I change how I act

I change what I do

I change what I want

I change what I eat

I change what I know

I change what I feel

I change me

and then my life changes all on its own

The Blogging Habit

Most of the people reading this will be bloggers.

There are many reasons for people to blog. Some want to shout into empty space, some want to unload to a place where no one knows who they are, some just want to share their stories, but most of us want followers.

So why do we want followers?

For some people it may be affirmation that what they are saying is interesting. For others it may be a boost to their egos. Others are using their blog to promote or sell something. Some may be trying to launch a writing career. What ever your personal reason to blog, if you want followers then you have to get into the habit of blogging regularly.

I know. I started this blog about 18 months ago and I had this silly idea that if I blogged once a month or so, somehow, people would magically find me and my stuff and would all want to know what was coming next. Some did, and for that I am genuinely grateful, but numbers were low. In retrospect, that wasn’t really very surprising. Firstly, there just wasn’t enough material there for people to get what they needed from my blog. Secondly, how were they supposed to know it was there?

In August last year I set myself a little blogging challenge. I decided that I was going to blog every day for 90 days. I didn’t have a goal for how may new followers or likes I wanted. I just knew I wanted to start a new blogging habit of writing EVERY DAY.

To start with it was relatively easy. I was full of enthusiasm and ideas that came pouring out. About 3 weeks in it started to get a little harder. I struggled to think what I would write about, I was worried about repeating myself, I started to make excuses for why I shouldn’t complete my 90 days.

Then I made a plan.

I wrote down a little blogging plan. I thought about topics that I could add to each week. I thought about big ideas that could run and run. I thought about fun things that I liked writing about. All of a sudden I had mapped out the next couple of months topics and I was back to feeling excited about it.

I’m not saying I always stuck to the plan. Sometimes a new and exciting idea would come along or maybe something would happen in the news that inspired me, but I always had something to write about.

Before I knew it my 90 days were up, and do you know what I did to celebrate this milestone? I blogged about it!

Blogging had become my new habit and I enjoyed it.

This works for blogging, but it also works for any other thing you might be wanting to change in your life. What we do is generally a matter of habit. So whether you are trying to make new habits or change old ones, make a plan, make it achievable and get on with it. Before you now it, it will just be something you do.

Then you get to reap the rewards.

If your habits change your body you’ll see it, If they change your mind, you’ll feel it, and if they change your wealth you’ll notice it.

What habits do you want to make or break that will leave you feeling better for 2015?

Here are some ideas.

Diet – eat 7 portions of fresh fruit and vegetables a day

Exercise – 30 minutes a day

Meditation – meditate daily

Blogging – blog daily

Business – build your online profile

Relationships – speak to at least one friend a day

Partner – compliment your partner at least once a day

Mindfulness – practice being in the moment daily

Hobby – spend some time each week doing something you enjoy

Experiences – try something new every week

Learning – learn a new skill

Little changes make large differences – where do you want to be in 2016? What are you doing to get there?

2014 – It’s been a good year!

If you had to grade your year, what would it get?

I’ve been pretty pleased with 2014.

My health has been good (slight issue with plantar fasciitis, but nothing in the grand scheme of things)

My blog has grown considerably – Thank you guys – your support is amazing and I love you all.

My business turnover has doubled (not a big ask considering where it started from, but I’m still very pleased)

My partner and I have spent some great time with each other (including a fantastic meal or 5 along the way)

Our dog is getting old, but we have been lucky enough to enjoy her for another year.

I have learned new things (creating websites, seo, hypnotic language patterns, marketing strategies, working with Parkinson’s Disease and much much more)

I have overcome obstacles.

I’ve held parties.

I’ve laughed with friends.

I’ve eaten more than is good for me 😦 but really enjoyed it 🙂

I want to have a great year in 2015 too.

I want to set goals so that I have things to achieve, but I also don’t want to set too many expectations as part of the joy of living is going where the wind takes you…so here goes

1. I want to improve my fitness – maybe start pilates.

2. I want to double my turnover for the business again.

3. I want to have over 1000 followers on my blog.

4. I want to enjoy spending time with my partner, my dog and my friends.

5. I want to learn a new skill that will help someone else.

6. I want to change one thing each month that will improve mine or someone else’s life.

I’d love to know how your year has been and what plans you have for next year – and if I can help in any way – let me know!

Thank you 2014, you’ve been great.

It’s all about balance

Christmas is not known as a season of balance. It tends to be about excess, decadence and over indulgence.

Personally I think that’s OK.

Being balanced all the time can get a bit bland – and maybe a bit of unbalance is sometimes required in a balanced life in order to balance things even more….

But here’s the thing about excess – you have to stop it before it starts to become normal.

I hope you’ve eaten, drunk and been Merry, but it’s time to thinks about redressing the balance.

I have a few friends who are going to be dryathletes in January – They’ve taken the pledge to steer clear of alcohol for a month. This is a great way of supporting your body and mind returning to a more healthy routine. Whether you have a problem with it or not, alcohol is a poison. You really do yourself a favour by keeping clear of it.

I don’t drink much as it is so going dry for January is fairly non eventful for me. I’m going to try to redress the balance of eating too much meat and sugar over Christmas. January is going to be about fruits and vegetables. Soups, stews and salads for me! I have to say I’m rather looking forward to it.

Have a think about what you may have been overindulging in and what you can do in January to help find your balance.