Self Care Advent Calendar Day 12

So what have I got planned for you today?

Nothing. That’s right not one thing.

No, I’m not being lazy. No, It’s not that I can’t think of things to do.

I want you to do nothing.

Give yourself a break. There is an idea that being busy is good, and it can be, but so can being still. Particularly at this time of year it can seem that the list of things to do is never ending and there is always something for you to do. People will often tell you how busy they are with the shopping and the cleaning and the cooking and the cards….as though that makes them good people or something.

I don’t care how busy you are, you need time out. If all you can manage is 10 minutes, take 10 minutes. If you can take 30 minutes, that’s better. If you can take 30 minutes every day, that’s brilliant. If you can take 30 minutes every day in nature, then you my friend are taking good care of yourself. Well Done.

I’ve talked quite a lot about making mental space. It’s not that I can’t think of other things to write about, it’s that I think this mental space idea is incredibly important and often overlooked. It’s all too easy to dismiss this. We often think we don’t have time – but this is when it is most important. There is an old saying ‘everyone should spend 20 minutes a day sitting in a field, unless you’re busy, then you should spend 40 minutes’. I know this sounds counter intuitive but it’s exactly right. The busier you are the more important it is to make space.

Sometimes when we are busy we can become unproductive. Have you ever had so much to do that you really don’t know where to start? I know I can start rearranging things – moving things from one pile to another, making lists but never ticking anything off, stressing about how I’m going to fit everything in. When this happens, I stop. I breathe. I remind myself that the guy rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic never saved any lives. I think about what’s going to make the most difference and I get on with that.

I was chatting to a friend of mine the other day who said she was so busy that she barely had time to sleep. That worried me. As well as taking time to do nothing, you really must make time to sleep properly. Sleep is not doing nothing, nor is it unproductive. Sleep is essential to our mental health and is one of the things that can have a knock on effect to lots of other areas of life. Did you know that you eat more and make less healthy choices after a poor nights sleep? Did you know that sleep deprivation has an equivalent effect to alcohol on your responsiveness? Sleep is so important!

So , today, plan in your hectic schedule a little time to do nothing, and enjoy it.

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If you are having trouble with your sleep you really need to get on top of it. Talk to a doctor or a hypnotherapist to see what you can do to improve things – and remember do what you can without chemicals, but know that medicine has an important place too!

How to write an effective To Do list (and a Not to do list)

I bet you have a ‘to do list’ – maybe it’s written down, maybe it’s just in your head, but I bet you have a list of things that you want to do.

It could be a list for the day

It could be a list for the week

It could be a list of things to do before you’re 50

It could be a bucket list

We all do it, and it’s not a bad thing. It helps us to be focussed on what we want to achieve and how we will do it. Which is great – up to a point. That point is when the ‘to do list’ becomes a burden. It becomes another thing that’s stressing us out.

So what can we do about it?

Well one of the first things you can do is to prioritise it.

Split your list down into sections.

Start with 3 things that HAVE to be done today.

This achieves a couple of things. Firstly it does that focussing thing again. You will be much more likely to achieve a small list of things that are important, than a great big list of things that you can postpone. Secondly, you will feel better when you start to tick things off that list. That in itself can give you motivation to keep at it. Now I know some of you will be saying that your ‘Have to be done lists’ are much longer than 3 items long, and I’m sure that’s true, but if you really had to put just 3 things down what would they be?

Secondly go with 3 things that you would like to do today.

These are not desperately important things, but things that you would like to get done. If you make it to these things – fantastic, Well done you – you probably deserve a treat of some sort – has someone put the kettle on for a nice cup of tea? By achieving anything on this list you are doing well. You may even be ticking off things that would be on tomorrows must do list – that’s great! You are such a winner!

Thirdly have a Not to do list.

This list is just as important. Maybe the things on it are time wasters – hobby jobs that you do even though you don’t have to. Maybe they are completely unproductive like playing Candy Crush or watching rubbish daytime TV. What ever they are, they are not helping you to tick off the important things on your list. Get rid of them until your to do list is done.

Finally have a Done list.

Don’t forget what you’ve achieved. Celebrate the fact that you have completed tasks that were important to you. If you don’t do this you can sometimes feel that you’ve worked all day for absolutely nothing. If that is how you feel, why would you want to do it all over again the next day? By recognising what you have achieved and the impact that has on your goals you can feel rightly proud of yourself.

So you’ve done it – you have your list. What are you waiting for? Get on with it already!