Tag Archives: annoying

One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days where everyone annoys you?

From the person calling in to the TV show, to the person who has parked awkwardly at the supermarket, the person who wanted to stop to chat and the person who didn’t.

Literally everyone is annoying.

I was having one of those days earlier.

Weirdly the thing that snapped me out of it was someone being genuinely obnoxious.

If I had been in my normal happy go lucky kind of mood they may have irritated me, but I was already in a foul mood (for no good reason at all) and they made me laugh.

Now, I knew from the outset the the problem today was me – I was the one with the issue – not everybody else, but it never really feels that way. It was only when I was confronted with someone who was at fault that I could let go of the anger I was feeling to everyone else- because they all looked so good in comparison!

That got me thinking.

How often are we happy or unhappy with a situation just because we have compared it to others?

Let me give you an example.

If you walked into work tomorrow and the boss called you into the office and told you he was giving you a 10% pay rise, you would probably be pretty pleased. If you later found out that everyone else had been given 15%, how would you feel? You still have the 10% raise that you were happy with, but now it just seems unfair and a bit rubbish.

On the other hand if you found out everyone else was only getting a 5% raise, your 10% would feel even better…even though it’s still the same 10%.

So, If you want to change the way you are thinking or feeling, try to do some comparisons that will make you feel good. There are always people who have it worse or harder than you do and there will always be people who have it better. If you are constantly comparing yourself to those who have what you perceive to be a better time of it, you will leave yourself feeling fed up and hard done by. Compare yourself to the ones who have it worse off and you will elevate your mood. You might even decide to do something to help them, which will make you feel even better (research shows that people doing a good deed get more from it than the people to whom a good deed is done).

If the World were 100 PEOPLE:

50 would be female
50 would be male

26 would be children
There would be 74 adults,
8 of whom would be 65 and older

There would be:
60 Asians
15 Africans
14 people from the Americas
11 Europeans

33 Christians
22 Muslims
14 Hindus
7 Buddhists
12 people who practice other religions
12 people who would not be aligned with a religion

12 would speak Chinese
5 would speak Spanish
5 would speak English
3 would speak Arabic
3 would speak Hindi
3 would speak Bengali
3 would speak Portuguese
2 would speak Russian
2 would speak Japanese
62 would speak other languages

83 would be able to read and write; 17 would not

7 would have a college degree
22 would own or share a computer

77 people would have a place to shelter them
from the wind and the rain, but 23 would not

1 would be dying of starvation
15 would be undernourished
21 would be overweight

87 would have access to safe drinking water
13 people would have no clean, safe water to drink

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It’s not deliberate

Not you – obviously You’re not annoying – it’s everybody else – right?

Do things bug you? Do those who you love most in the world sometimes drive you insane?

The problem is we can take every irritant personally. We treat every action, deliberate or accidental, conscious or subconscious, as a personal slight—a sign the other doesn’t care about us or isn’t prioritizing us the way they should. When we don’t get what we want, we can interpret it as, “You don’t love me enough.” We think, “If you really cared about me, you’d stop driving me crazy with all your irritating habits.”

Unfortunately, much behaviour is mindless; we do many things without thinking. The simple fact is that people engage in automatic behaviours that are habitual or self-focused without taking the other person into account. Yes, it’s a little self centred, but not deliberately so.

If your partner has a habit that he or she is not aware of but that drives you up a wall, like leaving the bathroom door open, leaving bread crumbs in the butter dish, walking around in underwear or cracking their knuckles it is worth bringing it up in a loving way. Maybe it simply never occurred to them that it bothers you.

If you’ve spoken to them about their habit and they continue to do it it could be that your partner just can’t change this aspect of them self and it’s time to take stock. Try reminding yourself what you have—and what you stand to lose. Yes their habit might annoy you, but is it worth losing them over. If the other aspects in the relationship are going well, maybe it’s just about doing some re framing on how you feel about the habit. Take for example the habit of leaving the bathroom door open. Is there any way that you could see this as a positive? I mean, how great is it that they trust you so much that they can be completely open and vulnerable around you?

Sometimes the thing that drives you crazy is totally out of their control. Snoring is a classic example of this.

Yes, it’s annoying.

Yes, it’s disruptive.

No, it cannot be controlled by the snorer.

So what to do?

Well, if you can’t re frame it by saying to yourself that at least you know that they’re breathing and safe in bed next to you, then you could try hypnosis. Hypnosis can be used for all sorts of things including changing how we feel about things. I have hypnotised people to feel more confident, more assertive and less irritated by trivialities. In the case of a wife who was driven to desperation by her husbands snoring I just helped her to feel more and more relaxed with each snore that she heard, so that instead of disturbing her, the snoring sent her into a deep peaceful sleep.

If you don’t fancy Hypnotherapy then maybe it’s time to buy some earplugs or move to a different room 🙂

Have a great weekend with those you love.

Ω

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