Tag Archives: acceptance

February – Heart Awareness month

Are you taking care of your heart? When you hear that, what does it make you think?

Do you think about diet and exercise? Do you think about relationships? Do you think about Self Care?

I think it should be about all of those things. I spent December writing about self care, and January writing about diet, so this month I want to write about relationships, what they mean and why they are important. Also hopefully, you’ll get some ideas on how to improve your relationships, feel better in them and get more out of them.

Today’s post though, is how to deal with the pain of the end of a relationship.

Relationships ending can be incredibly painful. Whether the end of the relationship is caused by someone ending it, or by death, there is a grief process to go through.

In both cases there is a relationship that no longer exists and grieving is a natural reaction to that.

There are famously said to be 5 stages of grief and these need to be worked through with a relationship ending.

Often the most difficult phases is denial. I have seen a number of clients in my hypnotherapy practice who say they want to get over a relationship that’s ended, but when I speak to them, they tell me what they really want is for it to be back on again. Despite saying they want to be over it, they are still in denial that it is really over. This is a terrible limbo land that can be difficult to move forward from until they accept that it’s over.

Then comes anger. It’s only natural to lash out when we are in pain, but anger is best kept in check. Not only can it make situations much worse if the anger is taken out on another person, but it can be much more serious when the anger turns inwards and we start to blame ourselves for the situation. This way leads to self-confidence issues and has other mental health implications contributing to anxiety and depression.

Now we get to bargaining. Again it’s fairly normal to bargain with our ex in order to get things back on track again, but the best person to bargain with is yourself. You need to decide how you want to get through this and make deals with yourself to help you to achieve it.

Here comes the darkest part – the depression. You will sometimes feel sad. You will sometimes feel as though you will never feel anything other than sad again. That’s not true. You will get through this. You will be happy again. You will look back on this differently one day. And now is the time to think about the bargains you made with yourself. Hopefully you decided you wanted to get through this as best as you can and work to take care of yourself. Eat well, go out, keep clean, be around people. I know it can be tough, but it will get easier.

Eventually you will get to acceptance. You may never be happy about it – then again, you might, but even if you don’t, you will learn to accept it. If you’re clever you will learn lessons from it. Know what you want, what you are prepared to accept and what you might need to do in order to get that. Also know what you need to bring to a relationship? We often think about what we want from other people, but sometimes it pays to think what they might want from us….www.talktherapies.co.uk

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Filed under coaching, depression, Development, inspiration, lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, Positivity, Psychology, Relaxation, Self Care, Self Help, support

Go with the Flow

calm relaxation hypnotherapy

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” – Lao-Tzu 

I was reminded of this a few days ago when I was looking through my feed and saw a post from Optimistic Kid with this quote, and it got me to thinking – what do we need to do in order to be able to go with the flow?

Firstly you have to Realize that you can’t control everything. Bad hair days were sent to remind us of this fact. Then you need to Notice when you are becoming frustrated with something you cannot control. Once you are aware of it take a few seconds to just Breath and relax. It’s then worth asking yourself a question ‘will I care about this in a week, a month or a year?’ If the answer is no, is it really worth getting upset about now? This might seem simple enough, but it takes practise to get good at it and you might have to do it consciously at first, until it becomes habit and just happens naturally. As you get better at it you may find that you laugh at situations that would previously have ruined your day, and as you accept that you don’t control everything you will also see that you can’t control what other people think or do and you may notice yourself becoming more understanding of their imperfections as well as your own. All of these things help us to accept change when it comes along and that is basically what we mean when we say – go with the flow.

It is said ‘What you resist, persists’ so “Flow with whatever is happening and let your mind be free. Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.” – Chuang Tzu

Wishing you a peaceful and harmonious week  🙂

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