I’m a Hypnotherapist and every time I help a client to get past some issue or another it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.
I love it so much when I get emails from them telling me how they are getting on now that their stumbling block is gone.
But just like with everything else in life – sometimes I need a break from it.
That’s what I’m doing this week.
Instead of concentrating on clients, I’m focussing on me.
I’m getting my diet back to where it should be.
I’m exercising every day.
I’m working on what I want from life and how to get it.
I’m being genuinely selfish – and I think it’s a good thing.
We all know people who are tired martyrs. They go through life doing everything for everyone else and very little for themselves. I quite often get to see these people when they have had enough – when they’ve burned themselves out. They come to me as anxious, nervous people who feel that everyone is taking advantage of them and that no-one appreciates them. Their stress levels are frequently through the roof and their self esteem can be very low. They often externalize their self esteem, so that they only feel good if other people are telling them how wonderful they are. The problem is that after a while you stop appreciating people who are ALWAYS doing things for you and you come to expect it from them. In fact you can go so far as to be upset with them if they stop for some reason, even if that reason is sickness or exhaustion.
The first thing I try to establish with these clients is a sense of self worth – not what others appreciate – but what they do. Once you have a genuine sense of self worth, you can start to be nicer to yourself and as a consequence, are sometimes nicer to those around you. This can be easier said than done, but hypnosis is a wonderful tool.
The next thing that comes from being nicer to yourself is making space in your life to take care of yourself. At its essence this is being selfish – and yes – I still think that’s a good thing. Thinking of yourself is important. Taking care of yourself is important. Being selfish is important.
As with almost everything in life, it’s about balance.
People who spend too much time just thinking of themselves can be even more self-destructive than those who never do.
So how much Selfish is good?
Honestly – that depends on you. It depends on those around you. It depends on what you are trying to achieve.
My challenge to you today is to ask yourself 3 questions….
‘Am I being selfish enough?’
‘Am I being too selfish?’
and finally ‘What am I going to do about it?’
Wishing you all balance and harmony, go and have a great day 🙂
I have only recently discovered Shel Silversein’s poems – If you haven’t seen them before you should check them out. They’re simple, sweet, funny and incredibly thought provoking.
from the book “Where the Sidewalk Ends” (1974) Shel Silverstein
Mama said I’d lose my head
if it wasn’t fastened on.
Today I guess it wasn’t
’cause while playing with my cousin
it fell off and rolled away
and now it’s gone.
And I can’t look for it
’cause my eyes are in it,
and I can’t call to it
’cause my mouth is on it
(couldn’t hear me anyway
’cause my ears are on it),
can’t even think about it
’cause my brain is in it.
So I guess I’ll sit down
on this rock
and rest for just a minute…
Parents, royal or otherwise go through similar experiences. This poem by Ogden Nash shows one distinction between first and second children.
Be it a girl, or one of the boys,
It is scarlet all over its avoirdupois,
It is red, it is boiled; could the obstetrician
Have possibly been a lobstertrician?
His degrees and credentials were hunky-dory,
But how’s for an infantile inventory?
Here’s the prodigy, here’s the miracle!
Whether its head is oval or spherical,
You rejoice to find it has only one,
Having dreaded a two-headed daughter or son;
Here’s the phenomenon all complete,
It’s got two hands, it’s got two feet,
Only natural, but pleasing, because
For months you have dreamed of flippers or claws.
Furthermore, it is fully equipped:
Fingers and toes with nails are tipped;
It’s even got eyes, and a mouth clear cut;
When the mouth comes open the eyes go shut,
When the eyes go shut, the breath is loosed
And the presence of lungs can be deduced.
Let the rockets flash and the cannon thunder,
This child is a marvel, a matchless wonder.
A staggering child, a child astounding,
Dazzling, diaperless, dumbfounding,
Stupendous, miraculous, unsurpassed,
A child to stagger and flabbergast,
Bright as a button, sharp as a thorn,
And the only perfect one ever born.
Arrived this evening at half-past nine.
Everybody is doing fine.
Is it a boy, or quite the reverse?
You can call in the morning and ask the nurse.
I like to post a poem on a Sunday, but I must admit to having a rather lazy weekend and not doing very much of anything except catching up on some TV and eating plenty of yummy food with my partner. We were in hibernation mode – no excuses – just felt like it.
Today the guilt is kicking in and I feel like we wasted a perfectly lovely day.
But then again, was it a waste, as we had a perfectly lovely day?
So, I’ve decided to get over the guilt, roll up my sleeves and do all the stuff that I would have normally done yesterday today and be extra productive on this beautiful Monday – so here’s yesterdays poem – I hope you like it.
I decided to post this one as it was written in a letter to a contestant on celebrity big brother this year. Most people seemed moved by the poem, yet almost all of them had never heard it before, which surprised me as I believed it was very well known.
For those of you that know it, be reminded of these stunning words. For those of you that are new to it, enjoy it, share it and live it.