When it’s best to NOT be yourself.


Are you better at giving advice than working out how to deal with your own problems?

If so, you are not alone.

Most people are much better at working out a logical course of action for other people, than they are for themselves. When we start to look at our own problems we have all sorts of biases that kick in which move us towards less rational decision making.

So what to do about it?

Well the simple answer is – don’t be yourself!

If you are faced with a problem the best way to think of a solution is to pretend that you are someone else – a friend or relative who is giving advice on the issue. Either that, or pretend it’s your friend or relative that has the problem and that you are giving advice to them. This simple step of moving yourself away from being directly involved is enough to overcome a lot of the initial bias that would have led to irrational thought processes and decision making.

If your problem involves a conversation that you are going to have, it can be useful to set up some chairs and imagine that the conversation is happening in front of you. See the conversation happening as an outside observer. This can help you to see both sides more easily and make you less likely to become entrenched in your view. It is also helpful to imagine what body language and words are used and what effect they would have. By ‘seeing’ this ahead of time you can make clearer decisions about how you want to come across and how best to achieve the outcome or resolution that you are looking for.

so, next time your faced with a decision – why not give it a try?



Filed under Development, Happy, inspiration, Psychology

4 responses to “When it’s best to NOT be yourself.

  1. This is so true. I was working with a therapist a while back and she used this approach. I found it so helpful at the time. It’s too bad I don’t remember it when I have challenges now! Such is human nature, eh?

    Thanks for liking my last posting!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Awesome post! Great insight and tips 🙂 I need to try this since I can give advice to others but I’m really bad at taking taking my own advice.


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