But it shouldn’t be.
If you’ve done something wrong or have just upset someone – say sorry – it’s often the quickest and easiest way to get past it.
So, bite the bullet, look the person in the eye and say I’m sorry.
Just that – I’m Sorry.
Not I’m sorry that I’m not perfect (that’s passive aggressive and puts the blame on the other person for expecting too much from you)
Not I’m sorry, but ……(that basically means you’re not sorry)
Not I’m sorry that you got upset by what I said (that means you’re sorry for them getting upset where as you should be sorry for what you said)
Not I’m sorry that you found out… (that means you’re not sorry you did it, only that you got caught)
Not I’m sorry, why do you have to keep going on about it (that implies you should be let off just because you have said that you’re sorry)
Not I’m sorry but you were to blame too (blame is not part of an apology – be sorry for your part in it)
Not I’m sorry to have to tell you,,,,,(because it’s just the telling part you’re sorry about)
Say you’re sorry. Say you won’t do it again. Say you’ll try to make it up to them.
Lastly accept when sorry isn’t enough.
Sometimes people just can’t forgive you for whatever it is that you’ve done. When this happens we can feel terrible and the guilt can be devastating. Apologies, when accepted, can make us feel better about ourselves. When they are not accepted you need to find a different way of moving on and letting that feeling go. Self Hypnosis techniques can be really useful with these feelings. If you have feelings you would like to let go of, try one on the self hypnosis techniques I’ve blogged about (Eye Fixation, The Betty Erickson technique, the switch, magnetic palms) and visualise putting something that represents your unwanted feeling in a bubble. When you can see it clearly in the bubble, gently push it away with your mind. Follow it in your minds eye until it disappears from view. You may have to do this several times before you start to feel better, but it’s worth being persistent with.
Hope I haven’t gone on to long…If I did – I’m Sorry