Do you ever set yourself dead men’s goals?
In case you don’t know what I mean by that, a dead man’s goal is one that can be achieved by a dead man. They generally go along the lines of “I don’t want to…………..any more” for example
‘I don’t want to worry any more’,
‘I don’t want to feel bad any more’ or
‘I don’t want to stay awake all night’
Whilst there is nothing wrong with these goals in themselves, there is a flaw in the way they are being expressed. The problem is the brain is not so good on focussing on negatives like ‘don’t’, ‘won’t’, ‘can’t’ etc. It’s much better at focussing on the active words in the sentence – worry, feel bad and stay awake. One trick you can use when you want to achieve a goal is to think about the way you word it in your head and make sure you are not setting dead men’s goals.
Instead of ‘I don’t want to worry any more’,
try ‘I want to feel more at peace and relax’
Instead of ‘I don’t want to feel bad any more’
try ‘I want to feel good about things’
Instead of ‘I don’t want to stay awake all night’
try ‘I want to have a good nights sleep’
It’s a small change, and you could argue that the goal is still the same, but you might be surprised at what a difference just changing your words can have on yourself.
As a hypnotherapist I have to take great care in choosing what words I use with my clients, and as the biggest influence on your own minds, you should too 🙂